The Dawn of Time (Bl) - English version

Chapter 0 - My old life

(The upper picture should represent Haru before his rebirth)

I am sitting at the usual family dinner with my parents and my little sister. The smell of freshly cooked food fills the air. We're having vegetable curry, my little sister Akira's favorite dish. She beams with pride as she tells my parents that she got first place in the mid-term exams and is now the top student of her class. My parents are visibly proud of her and praise her for her hard work and success.

Then my mother turns to me. "And what's new with you? Have you had a job interview yet or maybe met a nice girl?" It feels like a punch in the face. I'm 25 years old and have no idea where my life is headed. I'm not dumb or ugly... but I wouldn't describe myself as intelligent and attractive either. Normal, average, that's probably more accurate. My family loves and supports me, and I love them too. However, I feel uncomfortable in their presence because I know they wouldn't love my true self or might even disdain it. The fear of their reactions and of being alone keeps me from telling them the truth.

The truth is, I've been feeling different for a while now. I'm attracted to men. In theory, I shouldn't be ashamed of it because it's normal. But even though my parents and siblings say that anyone can love whomever they want, it's only okay for them as long as it doesn't directly affect them and they can ignore it.

Just as I'm about to reply to my mother, the doorbell suddenly rings. I get up and open the door. It's my older brother, who has come to visit with his wife and their newborn baby. I greet them warmly and am happy that they're here. It's a welcome distraction from my own problems.

But before they can start questioning me about my life, I hurriedly say goodbye to them as I have to go to my part-time job. As I leave the house, I feel a crushing feeling in my chest as I see my family happy and laughing together. The feeling of not belonging has been with me since I was a child. I close the door behind me and sink into my thoughts.

When I arrive at work, I meet my boss, a short, chubby, and angry man in his forties. He snaps at me and complains that I'm late. But I know him well enough to know that he doesn't take his actual work seriously and would rather watch sports broadcasts on TV, which he then refers to as "bookkeeping."

I put on my work shirt and go to the cash register, where I start stocking the cigarette packs. As usual, it's not very busy, so I restock items, clean, and serve a few customers. The kiosk where I work is old and not very big, so there aren't many customers. The only new addition is a surveillance camera that supposedly serves to protect the kiosk from thieves. In reality, my boss just wants to monitor his employees because there's nothing worth stealing here. I stand at the cash register, pretending to be busy. It's dark outside, and I count the minutes until closing time. Suddenly, the doorbell rings, and a drunken man enters the kiosk. He has a beer belly and is about forty years old. He is accompanied by a scantily clad woman who is probably half his age. The air is filled with the smell of cheap vodka and cigarette smoke.

The man staggers towards the cash register and demands alcohol, cigarettes, and condoms, while the woman grabs a pack of chips. I ring up the items and pack them into a bag. "That will be €15.48," I say. The man tosses his card at me while flirting with the woman, and they both laugh. Annoyed, I reluctantly take the card with a fake smile. As I swipe the card, the machine beeps with a "Card declined" message. I try again, but it beeps once more. "What's taking so long?" the man yells. "Sir, I'm sorry, but your card has been declined," I reply politely. "What? That can't be! You must be doing something wrong! Is this your first day here?" the man shouts at me, growing more agitated, his face turning the color of an overripe tomato. He snatches the card from my hand and throws cash at me.

As I bend down to pick up the money from the floor, the door suddenly opens, and my boss walks in. The man who was just in front of me seems to know him as they address each other by their first names. The tension between them is palpable. My boss glares at me, and I feel my throat tighten. I know I'm in trouble once again.