Equilibrium

Chapter 5 - Coming home again

Zen curled the soft, heather grey blanket around his waist as Kevyn finished getting dressed. Then they both sat down on the ground, facing each other again.

Kevyn. His memory of him superimposed itself over the Kevyn he just met - and quite obviously liked. Had Zen been subconsciously reminded of Kevyn by Kevyn himself?

"It's - been a really long time," Kev said at length.

"I don't know whether I want to hit you or kiss you right now," Zen answered truthfully.

Kev looked like he might try to placate him, but then said, "I know what you mean. I mean...I don't want to hit you. I want to make that clear. But, I can't help but see who you were." The Fire elf scanned his face, "And, at the same time, I like who you are now."

Would Kev be second-guessing that though? In a day? In a month from now? Would he see who he is now in a different light? Instead of the confident, successful, accomplished engineer - he might see a socially manipulative, bullying, asshole used to getting what he wants. "You still - like me?" he asked, unsure.

"It's a lot to process right now, but yes, I do, Zen," he answered without hesitation. "What - about you? We seemed to be getting along. Do you - like me?"

"I..." Kev was actually - the same as ever. Honest, passionate, and brave. Just the grown-up versions of those things. "I always liked you," he admitted. He realized now that he never said those words to him back then, and flushed a little. "But, I'm also so mad at you, Kev. And myself. I don't know how to..." He clenched his teeth - a tell on his feelings that he definitely would not have done so openly in front of someone he just met.

"Yeah," he agreed. "I've thought about you a lot. There's a lot we need to talk about. If, if you want to," Kev looked at him hopefully.

Zen needed him to get out. At first, he thought - to get the hell out of his well-managed life. But, the feeling softened the more he talked to him, and as he looked at Kev's earnest expression. Did he actually have a chance with him? "I do. But, not now. Not in this moment. I'm not sure how long I'll need, either." For the Folk, procrastination can last a helluva long time, but he couldn't bring himself to promise anything more specific.

Kev nodded. "I'll go. You...have my number. If you want to talk, or do something, or even if you're not sure - let me know."

"Thanks," he answered lamely.

When he left, Zen could still smell the scent of him on the blanket, could still feel the echo of the press of his lips on his own.

~

Afterward, he'd told his Gardenian friends in a group text that he needed to see them. There was Kara, of course. She texted him personally to ask how things went last night. He didn't reply, figuring she would get the idea that that was what he needed to talk about.

She texted him privately again for some details. Zen hesitated, then filled her in, smiling at her doggedness.

Rounding out the group was Brock, the human historian-journalist he met in University, and all-around great guy. His goal in life is to make the subject of Human-Fae relations relatable and interesting to the public. And last is Frayla, his oldest friend in Gardenia. An ex-warrior turned security guard since she's lived in Kreta.

They met at a sushi bar that night, springing for a nicer place since they were also celebrating Zen and Kara's professional success. It was in Downtown Gardenia, and close to the Fae district.

Zen was the last to arrive, and when he sat down, Kara passed him a drink. He could see the others already had drinks in hand. Zen's though, was obviously a specialty drink, with two cones of seaweed paper sticking out of a melon ball floating in the amber drink. Zen quirked a brow.