"Hi, uh, so." Wooyoung desperately tries to shake off the blankness that washed over him as soon as the pretty receptionist looked up from his laptop and smiled at him. "Do you have a phone?"
A moment passes. Wooyoung wants to facepalm.
~~~
Growing...
Hey, I'm sorry this update comes late :/ This chapter turned out a bit heavy--nothing explicit, but if it feels too heavy for you, feel free to skim or so, I put a short summary in the end (because it also wasn't super easy for me to write)
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Wooyoung doesn't call. Not on the day he leaves and where San misses his family's departure because he's busy cleaning hotel rooms, and not the day after. San hasn't yet had enough time to get over the nonverbal, passive rejection, to get to the point where it doesn't sting anymore whenever he thinks of Wooyoung with a confusing mix of anger, defiance and longing, and he finds himself dwelling on the little things he never paid close attention to before. He kind of misses Wooyoung's laugh. The few times Wooyoung laughed with him around, it sounded rather shy, but San has seen him laugh when he's around his family or, more specifically, his younger brother. To be honest, San prefers Wooyoung's laugh around his family because it's so unfiltered, unapologetically out of place in this fancy hotel. He'd like to hear it again—whether it's Wooyoung's suppressed giggle or his more boisterous laugh. San also misses, as weird as that may be, Wooyoung's way of talking. Wooyoung had those moments in which he acted overly self-confident, but in the next second, he took a step—or ten—back, trying to pretend he hadn't just asked San out. San misses confident Wooyoung, shy Wooyoung, Wooyoung who looks endearing caring for his little brother, laughing Wooyoung, blushing Wooyoung.
He knows he shouldn't miss him. San is well familiar with rejections, even if usually, he was the one giving them and it was more of a light-hearted "It was nice making out with you tonight, but I'm not interested in anything longterm."
And now, he's received his first rejection by Wooyoung. San doesn't think he's handling it particularly well: he feels unable to smile and get over it just like that. Instead, he finds himself brooding over their meetings, some of them maybe borderline dates, and wonders whether something specific went wrong or if Wooyoung thinks that their whole vibe doesn't fit.
Two days after San said goodbye to Wooyoung, it becomes time for Mingi to leave, too.
San tries not to feel too miserable about Mingi leaving the island, and in consequence him, though he knows it's not forever. He tries telling himself that it's okay, that he's okay, and many more phrases he can't quite bring himself to believe. But he's so high strung on emotions, two whole days of waiting for a sign of life from Wooyoung, getting told off by his bosses for spacing out during work, no more burnt mackerel for supper, the looming dread of having to say goodbye to Mingi, too—so high strung on emotions that consume his waking hours and sometimes also his nights that, seeing Mingi waiting for him in the lobby with a suitcase and bag slung over his shoulder, he breaks into tears before he even reaches Mingi and pulls him close in a hug him like his life depends on it.
He'll be alone for only one week, San tells himself, but it doesn't feel like only. When San imagines the next few days, he can see himself sweeping gleaming floors or blankly staring out of his window at the ocean rolling towards the shore in waves and drawing back, rolling in and drawing back, forth and back all the time.
