Terrorforming || Yandere!Harem X F!Reader

Give Up The Feeling

Pastoral counseling apparently took place in the director's office.

You were early for your appointment. Elizabeth saw to that. She wouldn't let you put it off.

You knocked twice on the cottage door and received a regal invitation to come in.

As soon as you stepped in the room, you could tell she was trying to create a soothing atmosphere. It was all plush with rounded corners instead of sharp edges. All the colors were natural and muted. There was an essential oil dispenser in the corner releasing a fine, lavender mist.

Still, you couldn't help but feel like a little kid that had been summoned to the principal's office.

"Y/N! Please, come in. Take a seat," Nurse Thorne said from behind her desk.

At least your chair was comfortable. It was a huge, overstuffed thing that dwarfed you. Oh, and the room was cool. Literally. This was obviously the only building on the campgrounds with air conditioning. The director was given lavish accommodations while the campers and counselors had to sweat out the summer. Real fair.

You wondered how much of that cold air was escaping out of the chimney. That's when your eyes caught on the gun above the fireplace mantel. What was that for?

"How long is this going to take?" You immediately asked. You didn't want to be here longer than absolutely necessary. There was no clock in the room, but you could at least count down the seconds.

She tilted her head to the side curiously. "I'm sorry that you haven't been looking forward to this as much as I have. Is there anything I can do to make you more comfortable?"

"Yeah, you can tell me how long this is going to take."

Her mild smile became a little bit strained and you swore you saw her left eye twitch. "As long as it needs to," she answered. "You shouldn't feel rushed. We have all the time in the world."

All the time in the world. If this wasn't Hell, then it was at least Limbo. "You're not going to keep me past lunch, are you?" Lunch was about three hours from now. Thankfully, Nurse Thorne shook her head. You let out a soft, "Okay." There was a light at the end of the tunnel.

"If you don't mind me starting out with a selfish question, how did you like the sermon?"

"I think it just killed off what was left of the optimist in me." You'd tried to tell yourself that Camp Bethel wouldn't be as bad as you thought. You were wrong. It was worse.

"Care to elaborate on that?"

"No."

There was that twitch again. You had a feeling she hadn't dealt with such a brusque girl in a while, if ever.

Camp Bethel was obviously trying to use a cookie cutter approach to turn you into the ideal church-going, God-fearing little girl, despite you being nearly a woman now. Religion always had a habit of trying to perpetuate childhood. Probably to stop you from asking too many tough questions.

"Why don't we talk about your childhood?" She offered after jotting something down on the notepad without looking.

"What did you just write?"

"Nothing that concerns you."

"It's about me, isn't it? I have a right to know. A real therapist would tell me."

Nurse Thorne sighed through her nose before looking down and reading aloud, "Patient is being needlessly difficult, likely due to ODD."

"What's ODD?"

"Oppositional defiant disorder. It's marked by an angry and irritable mood, argumentative and defiant behavior, and vindictiveness." Vindictiveness. A very pretty word with a very ugly meaning. "To put it simply, I think you have a problem with adults, particularly authority figures. You're likely acting out due to some childhood trauma."

"My childhood was fine," you said through clenched teeth.

"It must have been hard. Your parents' divorce. Your lack of a father figure." This woman didn't know you from Eve, and all of a sudden she thought she knew your whole life story, just because you happened to like girls.

"Not all gay people had traumatic childhoods," you pointed out.

"No, not all... But most. You're avoiding my questions."

"I'm telling you that's not the reason I'm gay!"

"So what led you to your same sex attraction?" She asked bluntly. That's what she was getting at all along, as if there was something inherently wrong with a girl who didn't like boys.

"I just... Fell in love with my best friend." Whether She loved you in return was still up for debate. You angsted over it constantly leading up to your arrival at Camp Bethel. Why did She confess that to her pastor? Was She ashamed of it, ashamed of you?

You wished you could have asked Her, but Her parents barred you from speaking with Her. They even took away Her phone and pulled Her out of school for the last two weeks.

Nurse Thorne nodded along like she understood. "Describe her for me."

"Words don't do her justice," you sighed. "SHE's amazing, just... Perfect."

She wrote something down again before continuing, "Are you certain your attraction to her isn't just caused by your desire to emulate her?"

Your teeth ground together once more. You had the sudden, overwhelming urge to bite something. Preferably her. You imagined sinking your teeth into the meaty part of her right hand, between her thumb and forefinger, so she would be unable to write for a while.

"Yes, I'm sure," you said simply.

With a quiet hum, she nodded once more. "Were you ever attracted to girls before her?"

"I... I don't know. I always admired girls before, thought they were pretty. But that was just because I have a functioning set of eyes. What I do know is that all my relationships with boys felt forced. I was just going through the motions without any enthusiasm. The first time I kissed a girl, I felt something. I don't want to give that up. Not for you, not for my mom, and not for God."