Spurned Queen

Chapter 39: Cindy Also Has a Secret

Lexi

The war progressed steadily for another three months. We all slowly grew accustomed to that life. We crossed swords with the wielders almost on a weekly basis. Both armies shrank, but we were still pretty much even. I saw blood so often I learned to ignore it. People gradually grew less rowdy and more grim as the end of this war seemed farther and farther away. The stronger learned the hard lesson of how to smile because someone else needed it, not because you felt like it.

Each time I fought, I fought in wolf form. I took pains to see that no one in the wielder army ever saw my face, or they would link it to my mother's and questions would rise.

She was terrifying in battle. Her healing wield was turned into an offense, tearing people apart from the inside out. She had appeared on the battlefront only once, using her staff to direct her deadly wield over distance. Luckily, she often stayed near the back, tending to injuries to her own side.

The knowledge that she had tampered with the Oblivion, and handed its key to someone, was still on ice in my mind. My being utterly rejected the blatant evidence, clinging to her past words and gestures. Had she not given me the Pearl Sea, hence handing me uncharted power? Had she not scolded me just for being near self pity? Had she not assured me that "wielders or shifters, war or no war, in whatever dimension," she would always choose us? Had I not seen her cry because she was forced to part with us, her children?

The Pearl Sea, though, was a bitch. It was the voice that plagued me just when I was too tired to think about it, calling me the Scourge or some such hogwash.

Just as I never showed my face, Dreiga never showed her dragon form. She knew of the otherworldly force the wielders had stationed in Russia, and she didn't want to appear in battle before they pulled that card from their sleeves.

The army of shifters had a new HQ, a labyrinth of caverns located somewhere in the Atlas Mountains in Morocco. Tyler and I had been specifically deployed to map them out, which, with my earth wield, was super easy. The Crescent Pack, several weaker packs, and the vampires were currently stationed in Australia, which was where I was now.

Aevran and I had come to a sort of... unspoken truce. We hadn't exactly reached speaking terms, but we didn't need that. Over the three months of living and fighting together, he and I had grown slightly closer. Though we almost never spoke, he wasn't cold when we did. Aevran had blocked attacks on me dozens of times during the battles, and so had I. Both of us did special favors for each other once in a while, neither of us bothering to say thanks. His small gestures in the strangest of times, however, secretly filled me with joy.

I had paid a visit to Kaiden, Logan, and Cara; and Kaiden had told me that Aevran had been to see her already. I was pleased to hear that he was nice and pleasant to her, like he had been in the week she spent at his palace.

So, even though over a hundred people had already fallen, my mood was generally light. The constant hustle and bustle and lookouts gave me a sense of excitement. The army had been broken down so that each faction was easier to monitor, easier to ration, and easier to keep busy.

All in all, the war had progressed. We were now in the thick of it, with no clear end in sight.

Those were the thoughts that passed through my head as I sat perched on a rock, watching crocodiles over five meters long try to catch a fish for supper as I analyzed this war.

Another set of massive jaws snapped closed over a fish. Its scales glistened dull silver in the evening sunlight before it was swallowed whole. I was torn between marvelling at the croc's patience or pitying the fish.

Survival of the fittest, I suppose, sighed Lattis, content on the belly full of jackrabbit.

The sun slipped below the treeline. I sighed, watching the afterglow fade slowly. Beneath my swaying feet was a sheer bluff that ended in the river, which chattered quietly despite the crocodiles lying in it. Stars winked into view one by one. I imagined that they could speak to each other in sone telepathy which I couldn't hear. The joke had to have been about me, judging by the way they twinkled at me. They shone just the way my brother's did whenever he faked a glare at me.

"Lexi, where are you?" His wife's link arrived in my mind, weak from all the distance. Lattis' tail tapped lazily.

"On my way," I linked back. I heaved myself to my feet and began walking fast through the dark woodland towards the voice.

We exchanged links until, about ten minutes later, I found her sitting on a low tree limb, waiting.

"There you are," I said. I leaned against a tree facing her and yawned. "What's up?"

"I'm in a fix."

I scrutinized her. Her body was tense, her eyes downcast, and her fingers picked at the tree bark. Her tone was soft and serious. Definitely nervous. She called me specifically, meaning whatever she had to say was much worse than just a "fix."

"Well?" I said.

Without meeting my eye, she blurted, "I'm keeping a secret from Tyler."

Now this shocked me. First of all, Cindy was never one for secrets. She was ever open and honest, and she loathed sneaky or deceptive behavior. She absolutely despised untrustworthiness and would be insulted if anyone refused to believe her on something. Cindy was always as good as her word; and though she recognized the necessity of discretion in certain circumstances, she never chose it where there was another option. Secondly, she was keeping a secret from Tyler?!?

"And it's eating you up and you can't think of anything else," I finished. I knew something was wrong with her. For the past week she had not been talking or smiling nearly as much as normal.

She chuckled mirthlessly. "You knew?"

"I knew something was up, I just didn't know what."

She nodded demurely. "Aren't you going to ask what it is?"

"Would you tell me?"

"No."

"Didn't think so. You wouldn't tell me if you can't tell your mate." I shook my head. Watching her there, in a tree, miserable and alone, I wondered if this was what I sometimes looked like. "Is it really worth it?" I whispered, both to her and myself.

She peeled back a strip of bark. "It has to be."

"Please don't do this to yourself Cindy. It will upset the whole pack if the Luna isn't herself. Tyler has been more worried lately, in case you didn't notice. Eyes follow you when you pass. This can't go on. Just tell him. You know you'll feel better afterwards." I glanced up at the now starry sky. "Keeping a secret from your mate is no easy feat," I sighed.

"But if you can do it, so can I," she mumbled.

"No. My situation is very different from yours," I stated. "My keeping a secret doesn't negatively affect him. But Tyler knows something is wrong with you and that throws him into deep, dark water because you won't tell him. Secondly, you have a huge impact on the pack; lots of people are depending on you for encouragement; your pensive mood ruins that for them. And third, you know Tyler loves you desperately — a blind man could see that. There is nothing in all the six realms that could ever change that. Whatever this is, I'm sure it pales in comparison to what the both of you have."

She listened to my speech in silence, and I could see the drops that had gathered reluctantly in her eyes. She hugged herself forlornly. "This is war," she said as if to remind herself.

"Exactly. This is war. Anything could happen. There's not enough time during your life to waste on regret. Get it off your chest. Take it in stride and try not to worry about the repercussions." I leapt into the tree and joined her on her branch, hugging her. She hugged me back, but I could still practically hear her heart breaking.

"You don't understand," she whispered.

"I'm sure I don't. But Tyler will."

"I can't."

"Please try. He's your mate, and you love each other. Nothing could possibly go wrong."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I am," I reassured her, totally convinced. "If it goes wrong, that's not going wrong. It's going the way it was meant to go. Which, if you follow your heart, is always right."