A Reluctant Mate

Dixson's POV (59)

Side story.   (13).   2/2

The car was in near silents the whole way back to the pack house, just the pups talking in the back, Cora kept trying to mind link with me but I kept rejecting it, I knew what she was going to say, that she's not going to him, that she will stay with me.

Once we've got to the pack house, the pups went running ahead "Dixson, please talk to me, I don't care if he is my fated partner, I want to stay with you", my hand was throbbing, one of my fingers were definitely broken, if not two, "please Dixson, talk to me" she shouted as she grabbed a hold of me, I stopped but I didn't turn to look at her "please return to our room, I've just need to clear my head" "please let me help" "please, do as I say, I don't want to say something I will regret" she let go of my arm and I walked off.

I didn't walk off towards the pack house, I went into the woods, 'run, Bear run, run until I tell you to stop' 'we should talk' "just fucking run', Bear burst out, scattering my clothes everywhere and he ran, I cried, I cried like I was a grieving parent of a child, my throat hurt from screaming so much.

I must have cried myself to sleep as when I came to, I was still in my Lycan form in Mitch's office, he was sat at his desk waiting, 'Dixson, I didn't know what to do, I ran for miles, I couldn't take your screaming anymore, I don't think he knows anything but I think he knows something's not right, it's not everyday a big wolf walks into the pack house' 'I'm sorry Bear, you only ever see the worst side of me lately, why can't we just be happy? Where is our happy ever after? Like Mitch and Aria?' 'Have a talk with Mitch and we can talk later'.

I shifted back, now, I was stood in Mitch's office, naked as the day I was born, "there's some clothes on the chair for you".

I got dressed in silent, then sat in the chair on the other side of the desk, still not wanting to talk.

Mitch just waited for me to talk first "Cora's fated mate was that the ice cream shop" "no way!" he said upset for me, "will I be expecting a request meeting?" "She said that she's going to stay with me, I just don't know what to think, I don't want to let her go, isn't that selfish of me? Wanting her to stay with me and not be with her fated?" "No, it isn't, she said that she wants to say here", the tears were rolling down my cheeks, "let me ask you, could you have left Willow where she was? me, I abandoned my family for mine, look where that got me, I just don't know what to do, I don't want to lose her but I don't want her to be unhappy with me" I was full-blown crying now.

When I finally stopped crying, Mitch said "I'm here for you, whatever happens" "thanks Mitch, I need to talk to Cora, I don't know what to say to her" "tell her how you feel, she knows your back sorry, so don't hold anything back" "ok" I nodded, as I was just about to leave the room, "wait" Mitch said as I turned he hugged me, it was heart-warming hugging Mitch, growing up and all the way until out old pack was destroyed, Mitch would never show this kind of affection, I've had a few hugs from him now, but it still feels good.

Stood outside the room I share with Cora, I walked into the room and Cora jumped up from the bed and hugged me, I love this Lycan but... "Dixson, I was so worried that you wasn't going to come back, have you eaten? Would you like me to get you something from the kitchen?" "No, I'm not hungry, we should talk".

I told her everything, that I want her to be happy but I also don't want her to leave, she kept telling me that she was happy and that she was going to stay here with me, she also said that when her heat finally comes, I can mark her again, they felt like empty words but I wanted to believe in them, so I agree to keep our relationship going.

It was like nothing had changed, we looked the exact same, we ate together slept together, we still have sex all the time but after two or three weeks, things started to feel off, the sex got fewer and far between, but I was fine with that, as when we do it, she is exhausted but she started to distance herself, she started to sleep in her old room a night or two, then she wouldn't show up at meal times, at first I just thought it was because Mitch has given me a lot more responsibility and I just missed her, then one morning, my whole world fell apart.

I woke up alone in my bed, nothing unusual there, it was early, the nightmares had slowly started again, being with Cora, they had stopped, I sat up to grab the water on my nightstand and there was an envelope with my name on it, I picked up, my hand started to shake when I realized it was Cora's handwriting.

                   Dixson.
I'm very sorry but I have left
the pack to go to my fated partner.
I tried so hard to stay but knowing he is close by is killing me.
Please look after Grover, I know you will hate me for doing this to you, after what you have gone through, but you should understand, you left your family to be with yours. Please be happy.
         Goodbye. Cora.

I let the letter fall out of my hands, 'so, she finally left me' 'I'm so sorry Dixson, this is all my fault for pushing you to her when you weren’t ready' Bear whimpered 'it's not your fault, it's mine' 'what should we do?' 'There's nothing we can do, she's left to be with her fated partner, the love I thought we had wasn't enough for her to stay' Bear didn't say anything back.

A sat in Mitch's office to wait for him, I didn't have to wait for long "Dixson? Everything ok?" I just held up the letter and he took it back to his seat but stopped, "what the fuck is this? Is this a joke?" "No, I checked her room this morning, some of her things are gone, Grover is still fast asleep in his room", I hadn't cried until now "what am I going to do now?" I cried Mitch come over to me and gave mr a hug me, like he did the day I told him that Cora's fated partner has appeared.

"Would you like us to go after her?" "No, I want her to be happy" "but at what cost?" I just cried in his arms, what am I going to do now? She helped me in so many ways, now she has gone? I have no one to confide in, my rock has gone that was tying me to this world.

Over the next week, I didn't get out of bed, the pups looked after themselves, Lucy bought me food but I hardly touched it, Grover kept asking when Cora would be back, I couldn't tell him that his sister abandoned him I know how much it hurt Aria when I did it to her, I just replied 'soon'.

The following week the horrible thoughts crept into my head, in Luna's voice, 'the pups would be better without you' 'you should just kill yourself' 'everyone would be happy without having to worry about you all the time'.

Months past Mitch and Willows pup was nearly here, Malcom had finally Returned with his fated partner, her name was Morgan, she was so kind, finally everyone was happy, apart from me, I could hear Luna say 'it's time for me to leave now, they don't need a crybaby like you around'.

Its come to the point, I couldn't take it anymore, the pups kept going on and on about going to the ice cream shop, none of us have left the pack house since that day.

"Please Dixson, we want ice cream" Lucy whinged "no" "Dixson please" 'look, you're making the pups measurable, you should just leave, go into the woods kill yourself' Luna said, my brain is that broken, I've even started seeing her, she stood behind the pups, laughing at me, "go get in the car" I said blankly, still looking at Luna, the pups cheers and run away, 'you're going to kill yourself and the pups?' she laughed, I just got up and left the room.

The drive I kept thinking, I could just drive off the road in to the river, go full speed into a tree, the pups were so excited for ice cream, "Dixson, you missed the turning for the ice cream shop" Grover complained "are we going to a different ice cream shop?" I didn't answer, I just kept driving in silent.

It was dark out when I pulled up at the Blood Moon night pack house, I mind linked with Aria 'Dixson? Are you at the pack house?' 'The pups are asleep in the car, I'm sorry but I can't do this anymore' 'Dixson, please wait, let's just talk' 'it won't make a difference, I just can't take the heartache anymore, I'm so unhappy, it's a struggle every day to keep going, please look after the pups like they are your own, I love you Aria, I'm sorry you had such a shit brother like me, once I'm gone you all can be happy' 'Dixson, wait...' but I broke the contact, Bear burst out and we ran into the woods.