Serilda: Part Two

Chapter 16

Serilda

As I sat there, my eyes never straying from Aaron's sleeping form, a plethora of emotions churned within me. A day had almost passed since he had told me the dark secret he had hidden inside of me. A secret that ate him alive slowly. The doctor's assessment may have deemed him physically fine, but the invisible scars that marred his soul told a different story. The mental torture could never be assessed.

Aaron didn't want anyone to know. I had begged him to talk about it with a psychiatrist but he had denied it. I didn't have the heart to persist with him anymore.

Male rape was a taboo subject, not even considered to even have happened according to society, whispered about in hushed tones even if acknowledged at all. And yet, here it was, stark and undeniable, tearing apart the fabric of my husband's being. However, the reality that it was my own sister who had done this to him bleed me more from the inside. I was her target yet she had turned my Aaron into one, adding another victim to her list of prey.

Erik couldn't stay in the room, he needed time to cool off and I understood it. Even I needed it, an unspeakable moment had passed between me and Erik as our eyes met. Once upon a time, he had been the predator and I had been the prey. Though he had stepped in the room for a few minutes in between the day to make sure that everything was fine, I was glad he hadn't stayed.

I shook my head trying to get rid of the thoughts of the past. There was no point in thinking about it now. Years have passed since then, I had given him my forgiveness but for a crazy moment, there was a need inside of me to hurt him. It was a fleeting thought, gone as soon it came.

"Serilda," I heard my name being called. Focusing my eyes and drawing myself from the dark place.

"Yes," Aaron was looking at me.

"What are you thinking?" his questioning eyes looked at me with curiosity.

"I'm just thinking about your kid," I lied not wanting to dwell on the heavy topics. However, the way his face grew pale after a smile I knew that his thoughts and mine were not in the same place.

"What is it?" I was confused, why would he react like this?

"I would be having two kids," he said with a heavy heart and pain laced in his voice. The words dawned the reality over me. It wasn't just me who was having a kid with him but Serena was too pregnant with his child.

"My intention was not to hurt you with my words," he added. I knew hurting me was the last thing on his mind but the truth hurt.

"I have no idea what would even happen to him or her. Would it even survive and if he did how things would be," I could see that the wheels in his mind were moving too fast. The change in breathing told me that he was fighting an inner turmoil.

"We could raise him," the words left me without a thought. I had no idea why I said that but I just did. Even I didn't know how would I raise him. A constant reminder of the woman who had ruined my life without a thought. The one whose constant lies and scheming tricks had even pushed me to the verge of death. How even would Aiden look at him a constant reminder of the night when he had been assaulted?

"Could we?" His questioning gaze held mine. I had to be the one to look away.

"Would she even allow it? Would her parents? Would it be a battle worth fighting?" Each question made me realize how far-fetched the reality was. Even if we wanted to take in the child his mother would fight tooth and nail. She had her parents to support her.

"Do you have any idea that I would have to face Serena, meet her, be a part of my life, I can't allow that to happen," he was growing anxious by every word forcing me to move from my place to stand beside him.

"No one would support her if they came to know what she has done, Aaron," I told him with both my hands on his cheeks forcing him to look at me.

"She could even serve jail time," my words were cut off.

"Like Erik did," his words took me by surprise. "Do you think I would go to the authorities with this? Would they even believe me? Male rape, is it even a thing?"

"You couldn't make the complaint Serilda, all you had done was break down and cry. I didn't even have the freedom to do that," each of his words hit hard. I drew my hands from his face and took a step back.

"Aaron, that was uncalled for," my voice barely over a whisper. I couldn't believe that this was my Aaron.

"Truth always hurts, Serilda. I couldn't weep for what had happened. Do you know how hard it was for me to even make love to you? I was haunted yet I couldn't act like it," I could feel the pillars of our marriage shaking.

"All I wanted was to keep you happy and then there was this whole desire for you to be pregnant. I was trying and trying for it because I wanted you to be happy," the unsaid truth came unraveling.

"I was hurting beyond the limits but I had to keep happy, go to work, and think as if nothing had happened. When she had come in barreling telling me she was pregnant with my child I puked all over the floor. I was sick to my bones but yet when you had asked me to make love to you I had. I had no one to rely on, unlike you," my core was shocked by the words he spoke. Every accusation felt like a pinch to my heart, a bleeding wound being inflicted on me.

"Even the word kid made me want to break down and close down but for you, I had stood like a pillar. You desired the baby so much that you couldn't even see what was happening to me. You had no idea how I felt like was being driven to the edge with every moment," tears welled up in his eyes as mine rolled down my face.

"Aaron stop," I couldn't hear more. My achin' heart couldn't bear the pain.

"All these years I had been there for you yet where were you when I had been hurting? I was in pain, Serilda why didn't you even damn notice. Was a child more important than me," my head shook in denial as I felt a shake in the foundation of our love. The crack in the walls of our love echoed louder with each word he spoke.

"Serena drove me crazy. Her every call rippled my core with fear. Yet you couldn't; see behind the false pretense I kept. Is our love that weak, why couldn't you have seen what was happening to me," he yelled out. "You couldn't look past your needs and wants. I was hurting Serilda, burning in agony but you slept right beside me without a care. It was me who kept on giving you the love even when I bled from the inside."

"I was so helpless. Serena turned me so helpless that I was going to kill her. I was going to die, I wanted to die. Crash my car with me beside her. We both should have died so at least you wouldn't hurt like this the way you are. I wanted Serena and her child to die with me," he sobbed out.

"I'm weak, I couldn't take the torture she brought me through yet I couldn't see you hurting. Not give you a miserable life. She was a leech sucking on my misery and she wanted you to bleed. I couldn't let you bleed, couldn't have her take away your happiness so I was going to sacrifice myself with her, and yet here we are," he wept.

"I just wanted this misery to end, put Serena to end. All I wanted was for all our problems to end. I wanted to kill her with my bare hands. Watch the light of eyes her disappear," his unfiltered words shook me to the core. I stood there in shock unable to bring words to my lips. He wept in his hands as I stood there.

"I don't want her in my life, I hate her. All I want to do is kill her. Kill her so at least we could be happy," he sobbed out.

All I could think was how could this have happened, making me self-doubt in the love I had for him. I felt like a leech sucking on the love he had for me. My love became and understatement to what he had for me.

How far could I go for him?