Poetry For People

~ Letters

I have no letters

As I walk into the brightly lit room

She talks and I listen, and vis versa

She gives me letters

Seven of them

Heavy

Bitter

Confusing

Letters.

I don't say the letters aloud because

they are sour and ugly

I feel embarrassed, slouching with the weight

I don't look like I'm carrying these letters

Others do, loud tears and panic attacks

She talks and I listen, and vis versa

She gives advice for my seven letters

Do not let your letters define you

You have your letters but they shouldn't have you

The heavy, bitter letters weigh me down

Others talk about theirs to remove the weight

To remove the connotation and shame

They talk about A's, B's, D's, H's, P's, S's, O's, and C's

And I finally say mine over and over:

A-N-X-I-E-T-Y

She talks and I listen, and vis versa

but I hide my letters today

My heavy, bitter letters

Then there comes a time and place

when I earn new letters

Two brand new weighted letters

They are earned as I etch rivers into my skin

One.

Line.

At.

A.

Time.

She talks and I listen

I do not talk

And she does not know

But eventually I do:

The dams of the rivers let out

the loud tears and panic attacks

and the weight of the letters soften

They are still heavy

But I know how to own my letters

Do not let your letters define you. Write your own words.