I Love to Hate you

Losing Game

music
*All I need by nudy1
*Under the Influence by Chris Brown

What the fuck.

I feel like that describes my actual reaction right now, wanna know why? Because after goddamn scene my brother made, I had one mission in mind and it included me shouting and scolding him, so, when I say I'm at least confused by why is he being the one doing all the screaming, it's a understandment.

"So many fucking guys in the world.." He keeps on ranting.

Gosh, what a whiner.

"Look, I have repeated this at least ten times by now, but when I say I don't know why he was the one to hand me back my computer, I mean it" I cross my arms, looking at him with my brows raised. The anger is dripping through my tone. I can't handle this anymore, I feel like i'm a bubble about to explode.

"And when I say I don't buy it, I mean it" He repeats, running both his hands through his hair, jaw clenched at irritation.

"Look, I coach him alright? Wanting or not, encounters between us will happen." My attempt to reason with the asshat of brother is thrown into thin air as he looks at me after my saying, and dares to answer it with "Well, maybe you shouldn't be a coach then."

That's more than enough.

The scoff leaving my lips is evident, the nails digging through my skin so roughly that if it bled I wouldn't even be surprised. My eyes narrow at him. I don't have time to think before the next words leave my mouth. "Well, too fucking bad. Wanna hear why?" I ask rhetorically, instantly answering it. "Because I already have a date with Rafe." I seethe, clicking my tongue after the silence occupies the room.

And regretting my words. I mentally curse myself, but can't afford to go back on it now.

"Better not get your hopes up, big bro. Because I guess whatever Rafe said to rill you up, won't be so wrong anymore." I tell him, huffing. "So, you know, should probably instal sound proof walls after all." I hit my shoulder with his, leaving the apartment before he has a chance of reply.

I get into the elevator, murmuring multiple insults and bad words to myself. I run my hand through my face, wondering how on hell will I get past this fucking lie.

I guess I'll be losing a game.

———————————————————-

While I'm sitting on a bench, waiting for- "AURORA!" I hear my best friend screaming, wiggling her ponytail involuntarily as she approaches me, a knowing look plastered across her face. "Oh save it" I wave her off, already having too much on my mind.

"Hey, please don't mind me. I'm just, you know, remembering about a certain someone who once told me Rafe would never be her type.." She looks up with a innocent look, as she places her indicator finger on her chin, pretending to think while a smirk is growing in her face.

I slightly shove her off, a sigh/chuckle leaving my mouth while I do so.

"I still don't like him." I say sternly. "I just feel like pissing off my brother" I comment, shrugging.

But in reality, I'm not shrugging anything. I'm worrying about everything.

"Sure. So, where will he take you?" She asks, intrigued. Clearly not believing I'm not into him. I sigh once again, looking in distance while I lowly and rapidly say "ineedtoloseagamefirst"

She frowns her brows, getting into my point of view again. "What?"

If she wasn't believing it before, after this piece of information she's never letting go. I mean, she would understand the circumstances if she was the one in my place. This is the one time I have to get back on my brother, so I will.

"He said he'd take me out on a date when I lost a game to him. Like, that would be his prize. The thing is, I don't-" She cuts me off, answering for me "Lose. You never lose" She reminds me, getting stiffer as she realizes my tension. "Exactly."

"Awww, I guess your ego isn't really that high huh?" Her praise is sarcarstic, she lightly pats my shoulder. I roll my eyes at the action, but a involuntary smile grows a little on my frowned face.

"Or did Wardo piss you off that much? He only told me about the date thing" She comments, tilting her head to the side. "Uh he- wait, you asked him first?" I question.

"No, no, he came to me. Mikey must be busy or something" She says, a little too fast but shrugging nonetheless.

"Right. Well, he said I should stop being a coach." I tell her, and her brows frown once again.

"Well, it doesn't seem.. you know.. that bad.." She says, making me roll my eyes at her response.

"Being a coach is the only thing I wanted since a kid. Wardo is well aware of that. And since a kid he has tried persuading me into giving up, and into never even breathing next to boys. So, of course that a guy having actually done something nice to me, pisses him off. Even more once he knows it's something related to me finally being a coach. So now, in the first opportunity he barely has on giving his opinion, he just tells me to quit. And I haven't even started on doing that by causing a scene to half of this goddamn college to see." I explain, keeping my head low as I anxiously play with my hands.

"He should've kept his mouth shut. I'll do whatever I want to, and him telling me not to, just-" Again, she interrupts me, but correctly finishes my sentence. "Just makes you want to do it more"

"My point exactly." I tell her, pointing my finger in agreement with her. "Well, who knows, maybe you'll get to have a little fun" She nudges me, insinuating I'll start liking Rafe. "Hah. Over my dead body. The guy is trash" I say, drifting my mind off to remember the way his closeness made me shiver. Of course him being.. not bad at hockey just makes me all.. tingly.

The way his hair just falls perfectly without him trying, or at least I tend think so. It even annoys me so much, how can his just fall like that, effortlessly, while mine doesn't? How his dark eyes hold so much intensity, his words affecting me way more than it should, and oh his fucking abs, god, I could just- "Hey! Are you listening?" Daphne's voice interrupts my thoughts, which I'm grateful for.

"I said you guys might end up working out, who knows" She says, but I just shake my head and snort, leaning back on the bench we're sitting in.

Easier to pigs to learn how to fly.

—————————

Friday eventually comes around, and the entire week Wardo hasn't even bothered to spare a look in my direction. His infantility is truly out of this world. What are we? In high school? What if I genuinely just liked Rafe? My brother's a kid. Or rather, he thinks I am.

Either way, right now I'm thankful for it, so I can give him a little taste of what I felt. The anger and the angst.

I wear dark blue flared jeans with a red tank top. I put it over it a casual off-white hoodie and brush my slightly wavy hair right before braiding them into two french braids. I only put some concealer, highlight, blush and mascara before leaving the house with my hockey bag. I may be losing this bet today, but I am not about to go down without a fight.

————