Medication (boyxboy)

VII

Daniel woke up relatively happy for no apparent reason. Daniel never woke up happy, so he was a little suspicious of himself. He sat up on his bed, completely still, for about ten minutes before getting bored and deciding he was allowed to be happy for once without being concerned about himself.

He went through his normal morning routine, making himself decent, catching himself smiling every few minutes for no reason. Whenever he caught himself, he'd frown quickly, feeling as though he shouldn't have been happy. He was in a hospital, he had no reason to be happy. He had no reason to be smiling, so he wasn't.

This was of course very flawed logic, but Daniel was too tired to care as the nurses led the patients down to the cafeteria for breakfast. He trudged along in the back, not bothering to find his friends. Daniel was both very happy and very tired at the same time, and was far too drained to put effort into anything at the moment.

The elated feeling lasted all through breakfast, keeping Daniel in high spirits for whatever reason. Despite trying to ignore how odd it was, Daniel couldn't help but think about how he was hardly ever happy in the mornings, and how he was never quite this cheerful.

Daniel contributed quite a bit more to the conversion. Phoenix, CJ, and Rick all found it a bit odd since he was the quiet one. He explained to the boys his odd sense of happiness, and how rare and just weird it was.

None of the others were concerned, they simply told him it happened sometimes and he should enjoy it. He tried to follow their advice, but weighed down with a paranoid feeling that the universe was out to get him, and it was simply kissing up now so the bad things would make him fall further. The feeling was very odd when mixed with the elated feeling as well. It almost recreated that off feeling from the moments leading up to his most recent schizophrenic episode.

Daniel wondered to himself if he was going to have another one. Surely three separate medications wouldn't be defective for him. It didn't take Daniel long to make up his mind that it was likely it was going to happen again. He wasn't sure if it was his paranoid side kicking in or an actual educated guess, but whatever it was he wanted to see Dr. Joseph about it.

He wasn't allowed to leave until the meal was officially over in about seven minutes. He figured he could hold out until then. It then occurred that Dr. Joseph would be meeting with someone when they got out, and Daniel would only have to wait an additional thirty minutes. Thirty-seven and seven were two completely different periods of time, but Daniel guessed (or rather hoped) he could go both of them without an episode.

He was right about having one. Soon after the patients were released, it came on, and he simply closed his eyes and tried to shut everything out and focus on his breathing. He would not let these voices get to him. The rational part of him knew they weren't there, but that side of Daniel was gone now and there was nothing he could do to change that.

"You're still here?" a high pitched female's voice asked rudely.

"Look at yourself, you pathetic mess," another voice hissed. It was female as well, but not as high pitched as the first.

"Of course he's a mess, were you expecting him not to be? He's a crazy fag!" the first shrieked.

Daniel's eyes remained closed as he lay motionless on his hard as a rock mattress. He would not let these voices hurt him, he repeated to himself over and over.

"Crazy fag!" the second echoed, laughing.

"Nobody likes crazy fags, you should just kill yourself. Remember what we told you the other day about hanging yourself? You could probably get by with it still!" the high pitched one taunted.