Utopia War

Chapter 5 - U.F.O. (i)

"HansomeNose!" said Min-ji "I haven't seen you in... a quarter of a millennia now. How times does fly."

"It's been too long," said HandsomeNose "That's one of the reasons why I asked for you specifically. I knew this kind of thing would be right up your alley and well within your area of expertise as well, but it's always nice to work with a friend."

"I'm her friend too!" said Sparkle.

"How rude of me," said Min-ji "HandsomeNose, this is Sparkle Amaryllis. Sparkle, this is HandsomeNose."

"Charmed," said HandsomeNose "Are you just here for the company?"

"I'm her guard dog," said Sparkle "So don't try anything untoward."

"I'll be sure to factor you into my stratagems," said HandsomeNose.

"So," said Min-ji "Tell me all about your U.F.O."

The group was aboard the Imminent Eschaton, a lightly modified Trillion-class General Purpose Ship, taking short-cuts through the 5th and 6th dimensions towards the aforementioned U.F.O.

"The U.F.O. emerged from the wormhole router closest to Proxima Ring and has been moving towards it at sub-light speeds for the last 47 years. It's a thin tube of programmable matter about 14 centimeters long," said HandsomeNose "Roughly comparable to our computronium but several orders of magnitude more dense. If my hypothesis is correct, and the extra density translates to computing power, then that tube has more computing power than our entire civilization."

"That doesn't sound a bit excessive to you?" asked Min-ji.

"The other part of my hypothesis is that the U.F.O. is Precursor technology, so, no. Not particularly," replied HandsomeNose

"Proxima doesn't agree, I take it," said Min-ji.

"Proxima is not infallible," insisted HandsomeNose "Sometimes the limited perspective of a mad genius trumps the wisdom of the whole."

"And you're one such genius?" asked Min-ji.

"I," said HandsomeNose, with as much gravitas as the floating ball could muster "Am one such genius."

"Aren't you a Proxima Ring citizen?" asked Sparkle.

"Yes..." admitted HandsomeNose.

"So you're part of Proxima too," continued Sparkle "How could you possibly know better than her?"

"Because Proxima's opinion is weighted by the opinions of all those fools who doubt me," said HandsomeNose "Mine isn't."

"You see, Sparkle," said Min-ji "HandsomeNose literally thinks he knows better than everyone else."

"Only in the specific circumstances where I do," said HandsomeNose.

"So I take it we're off to try and make contact with this thing and test your hypothesis?" asked Min-ji.

"That and take some close-up scans," said HandsomeNose "I've been trying to communicate with it virtually from the moment it emerged at a long range, and have been completely unsuccessful. I'm hoping the personal approach will yield better results."

"What makes you think this thing is capable of communicating?" asked Min-ji.

"Nothing!" declared HandsomeNose, excited "That's what's so wonderful about this mystery. I've been studying it for close to half a century and I still know next to nothing about it. I can't rule out contact, however. Wouldn't that be something?"

The Imminent Eschaton slid back into real space with near-perfect accuracy, reappearing only a few thousand kilometers from the U.F.O. and matching speeds.

The light on the front of HandsomeNose went gray for a moment, indicating distance. He was interfacing remotely with the ship and it took up all of his attention.

"We're being scanned!" he announced, with unrestrained glee.