Together Forever

My House.

This ones for princessBatates ❤️❤️ enjoy t sweetheart x

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It had been a whole week since our 'argument' with Zaid and I felt like I was beginning to lose my mind. My nights were sleepless, my thoughts never ending and my days restless. No matter how much I tried to go back to my normal routine, I couldn't. It was taking a toll on me and more importantly, the kids. They weren't laughing as much as they used to, weren't talking as much as they used to and weren't smiling as much as they used to.

My dad told me a few days ago to go see a family psychologist, but I didn't feel like that would help. I didn't know what I needed.

I was in this constant hole that I just couldn't seem to get out of.

As scary as it was to admit it to myself, I wanted Zaid. I wanted to be with him. Be a family. Forget everything in the past and just move on with our lives like nothing had happened. But I couldn't.

How could I? I wouldn't even feel like I was his wife.

"Mummy, can we watch Zaky?" Hamza spoke from the floor across me as I was on my bed, aimlessly watching them play with their toys.

"Of course, sweetheart." I answered him as I took my phone off the charger and opened YouTube, clicking on a random episode as I helped them both onto the bed on either side of me, holding the phone so they could watch.

Eventually both of them fell asleep and I smiled, looking down at them, locking my phone and putting it on my bedside table. I covered them with the blanket and lay beside them, watching their rhythmic breathing that eased my heart and my soul.

No matter how hard life got, or how far my thoughts stemmed, as soon as I looked at my babies, even if it was for a minute, all worries dispersed and I only had them as blessings to ponder on, and truly, they were enough. They would always be enough for me.

But would I always be enough for them?

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"Bella, I'm going to leave a bit early today." I smiled. "If that's okay with you." I added quickly and she smiled nodding and agreeing with me. The restaurant was fairly empty anyway and I was standing around for most of the day.

I got into my car after clocking off and drove to a place I hadn't been in five years. As I pulled into the street, my heart began pounding. Memories of the countless times Zaid and I had walked, drive and spent time in this street was too much to bear.

"Bismillah." I muttered, taking a deep breath in and out as I turned into the open gates and into the home that looked abandoned. The flowers and hedges around it that Zaid and I used to care for together were dead.

I parked the car and sat, leaning back in the seat and looking at the house. There were no curtains and the house itself looked lifeless.

I took a deep breath and left the car, taking my phone and locking the doors. I wonder whether or not I could even get in the house. I turned the door handle, surprised when it opened with a creak.

I squeezed my phone in my hand and took the first few steps into the hallway, covering my mouth as a soft sob escaped. The hallway carpets still were laid out, the grey colour now looking darker from the extensive dust covering the surface.