I quickly shake my head, which he raises an eye brow to but doesn't question.
He straightens up, never removing his gaze from me before stepping closer, forcing me to step back. He takes another and again, I step away. Seth keeps approaching me, hi...
"Grief, a type of sadness that most often occurs when you have lost someone you love, is a sneaky thing, because it can disappear for a long time, and then pop back up when you least expect it." ― Lemony Snicket, The Carnivorous Carnival
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
I was drowning. Drowning in a see of black and nothingness. I couldn't breathe. Couldn't see nor hear. But I could feel. Boy could I feel. I felt the pain, mind numbing and very real. It didn't pierce through my heart. No, that would be too quick, too easy. It captured me, held me captive and chose to poke swords at me whenever it saw fit. Not caring if the swords didn't have smooth edges, so that when they stabbed through me, it left ragged, open wounds, that would never again close.
Then I heard him, his voice calling out to me. I knew it was him. It couldn't be anyone else. I reached out, searching for him, and when I felt his warm touch against my cold hands, I grabbed hold, with no intentions to let go.
Then the cover was being pulled off of me, exposing me to the harsh light of the room, the reality of everything. Because if I could see where I was, I couldn't pretend it was all just a bad dream, some horrible nightmare.
I blinked up at Seth through my teary eyes, nothing yet in focus. But I could see the pain, the anguish on his face, the red flush on his face, shiny in the light from his wet cheeks. His hair was messy like he had just rolled from bed and his clothes crumpled. The sight of my strong willed, confident, caring man so clearly in pain, trying to unsuccessfully mask his emotions, something he had always been able to do so well, sent a fresh stab to my chest, confirming once more that this was real. This happened.
"H-he's, He's gone." I stuttered out, my voice feeling scratchy and raw. Seth looked at me for a split second before his lip trembled, his brows knitted in and his face screwed up, fresh new tears rolling down from his eyes. He swooped down, his face pressed into the crook of my neck and his tears spilling into my thin gown and soaking my skin. I could feel his other arm round me, holding me gently, almost as if he were afraid to touch me.
"Shh! I'm here little cub. I'll always be here. I'm so, so sorry. I'm so sorry." He began to apologise over and over, blaming himself for everything, although I wasn't sure why. But I was too sore, too numb to question him for now so I held onto him tighter, pressing my own head against his shoulder.
"It hurts so badly Seth, please, make it stop!" I begged into him, feeling so out of control of everything around me, needing something, someone to anchor me to this earth, to take away my pain, make me forget.
I let out a whimper as he stood, shushing me and giving me a chaste kiss to my head before he quickly pulled me closer and lifted me, climbing into the bed and kicking his shoes off. I leaned over the side, unhooking the little bed remote and offered it to him, and whilst he adjusted the bed, I shuffled around in his arms until I was curled into his chest, gripping at his already slightly wet top with no intentions of letting go.
