Ask Me How I Know

Nightmares

Tobias's POV
My heart starts beating fast in my chest as I look at myself in the mirror. My father's words have been getting to me for years, but I can never actually see what he does until now. Today I can either choose to leave, or stay. I know my choice already, but it's scary to know I won't be here anymore.
My face is sucked in, my arms are thin and bony, my eyes are dull, and my back stings from last nights beating. The door opens and Marcus walks in. I will never call him father, for he has never once acted like one.
"Son," he says. I close the mirror. "You know know right thing to do," he says. I nod, taking a deep breath. If he knew, he'd kill me...scary thing is that I'm not at all kidding. He places his hand on his leather belt that's wrapping around his waist. "Just for old times sake."
×××××××
"Tobias," Tris says, shaking me away. I shoot up, looking around and grabbing her arm in shock. She gives me a sympathetic look. Since last night was our first time sleeping in the same bad together, I highly doubt she will want to again. "Bad dream?"
"Nightmare. You can go back to sleep if you want. I'm sorry for waking you," I say. She gives me a small smile before leaning in and kissing me. I'm surprised since it's never been her to initiate it. I lay down on my back and before I know it she's straddling me. My hands go under the shirt of mine she's wearing. Her skin is cold and soft under my touch.
I press my lips to her neck. I would turn is over, but I'm sure she feels more comfortable like this. A small moan escapes her. "Tobias," she sighs.
"Yeah?"
"Your hands. Too tight," she says. I let go and she rolls off of me.
"Sorry, I totally ruined that," I say. She shakes her head, smiling at me. "I didn't hurt you too bad did I?"
"It might be red, but it won't bruise. If you genuinely meant to hurt me, I would be home right now. Not here with you," she tells me. I kiss her cheek and pull her to my chest.
"Go back to sleep."
×××××××
"Tris," I say when I walk into a empty dark grey room, with a single chair and table. Tris sits in the chair, sitting still while her beautiful grey-blue eyes train on me. On the table is a single loaded gun. "What are you doing?" I ask.
"You have to do it, Tobias. You know you do," she says, her voice shaking. I reach over, the cold heavy metal feeling all too familiar in my hand.
"I can't kill you," I say, shaking my head.
"Either you, or he does. Please do it. I would rather it be you than him," she says, sounding panicked.
"Who's him?"
"Please just do it!" She says loudly this time, looking at a door that has now appeared. "I love you. Please. You have to do it now." The door knob twists. I set the bullets and aim it at her.
"I love you." I pull the trigger and she falls to the ground.
×××××××
I shoot up in bed, Tris looking at me in concern. "I'm so sorry," I say, not able to separate a dream from reality. "I-I had to shoot you. You said to do it; th-that if I didn't, someone else would. I didn't want to. I-"
"Tobias," she says, cupping my face and looking me in the eyes. "It was only a dream, I'm here. You didn't kill me." I run my hands down her arms, needing to know this is real and not my mind playing tricks on me.
"I should get up now."
×××××××
Zeke and I stare silently at the screen, his knees are bouncing up and down frantically. "You okay?" I ask.
"I'm good," he says. I can tell by his voice that he's not. I decide to just drop it. "Shauna's pregnant man. I don't know what to do. I'm not ready for a baby. What should I do?"
"You should man up and help your girlfriend raise your baby," I say. I'm positive I have bags under my eyes and I'm pale from lake of sleep; I don't know why, my skin just decides to go white when I'm sleep deprived.
"I don't know if I can do that-"
"Zeke, if you don't, I will kill you myself and not regret it. We both know I will do it. Your not too heavy not to be able to throw you off the chasm." He swallows loudly.
"Got it."
×××××××
Tris comes in and let's me in. I give her a quick kiss. "Did you hear about Shauna?" I ask. She nods, locking the door behind me.
"She's not that happy about it. And neither is Zeke she said," she tells me. My brows furrow.
"Did he say something to her?" She nods. "What?"
"I don't think you want to know. That's your best friend and I don't feel it's my place to-"
"Tris, please just tell me. He was talking unlike himself at work today anyways. I had to threaten him with throwing him off the chasm." She giggles a little; damn I love that sound.
"He told her to get an abortion. She flipped out on him and he said that if she didn't, he'd be gone. So if he's with her right now, all is okay, but if not..."
"I'm throwing him on the chasm." She shakes her head at me, grinning.
"You should go lay down. My room is to the left," she says. I grab her hand and pull her with me.
"Lay with me?"
"I think I cause you nightmares," she says.
"You'd be surprised how wrong you are." I lay down, bringing her down with me.
It's been twenty minutes and I still can't sleep. I turn into my side. "You okay?" She asks.
"I don't know," I answer truthfully. Maybe I'm getting sick and this is my minds way of telling myself so.
"Take your shirt off," she says. I raise my brows in shock. "Just do it and lay back on your side," she says. I do as told, stripping from my shirt. She wraps her arms around me from behind, making me little spoon.
"Is it bad that I like this?" She kisses the dauntless and abnegation symbols on my back.
"Get some sleep."
××××××
Tris's POV
I laugh at Chris as we make our way to the hall that leads to stairs. "I didn't know he had a thing for sequence and I'm not sure if it's something I should be concerned about. Maybe its a erudite thing since its only blue sequence."
Out of no where I'm falling down the stairs, landing on my back. I push myself up against the wall, keeping my knee straight. Chris runs down with Peter walking calmly behind. I groan in pain.
"Oops. You missed a few steps," he says before continuing on his way. Chris helps me up. I wince as pressure is pit on my left knee.
"You need to go to the infirmary?"
"No. It's not broken. It just needs to rest. Can you walk me home then you can go to Will's?" She nods and helps me keep my balance.
×××××××
I close the door behind me and see Tobias sitting on the couch. He looks up at me, his eyes widening when he sees my eyes watery. "What the hell happened to you?"
"Peter pushed me down the stairs," I say. He helps to the couch and looks at my knee.
"It's not broken, just swollen. Its needs heat to relax," he says. "Do you want me to start the bath?" Usually I would decline the offer, but because of the pain, I nod. He gets up and walks to the bathroom, turning the water on.
I can't help but think of what would have happened if I hadn't of transfered. I would probably be in a forced relationship with Robert. But no, I'm here in black instead of grey. I'm not in a forced relationship. I'm with someone I genuinely love and care about.
But then my mind goes to what if neither of us has transfered? I can't help but think for a fact that we would have found a way together, but dressed in grey.
He comes out and picks me up. He sets me in the counter and gives a sympathetic look. "I'm gonna... I'm gonna get out so you can get undressed," he says. I nod and watch as the door closes. I remove my shirt and think about both how I'm going to take my pants off and how I'm going to get off the counter.
"Tobias?"
"Yes?" He says form the opposite side of the door.
"I need help," I say. The door slowly opens and he comes in. I cover my chest even though I'm wearing a bra. He unbuttons my jeans and drags them down. Even though in this isn't sexual at all, I can't stop my thoughts from going in that direction. He sets my pants next to my shirt and looks up at me.
He kisses my thigh, surprising me. Thing is, I know he didn't mean for it to be thought of as sexual, so I liked it. He picks me up and sets me in the warm water. I wince as my knee rests.
"Um-"
"I'll take the rest off in a little bit. Thank you."
××××××××
I try getting up, buy fail horribly. I'm naked and can't reach my undergarments so I can't calk for Tobias. It would be his first time seeing me completely exposed and I don't want it to be in this situation.
I try it again, but fall back in the water. "Tris? Is everything okay?" He asks.
"Yeah," I say. I can hear his footsteps walking away just as I can for him again. "Can you help me out? But close your eyes?" The door opens and a shirtless Tobias walks in with his eyes lightly closed. I cover my chest. He bends down and let's me place his hand on my waist. He pulls me up, my chest meeting his.
He keeps his hands on my arms so I don't fall as I get redressed. "I'm good now," I say. He opens his eyes slowly and helps me to the bedroom.
"I'll make dinner. You rest your knee."
"Tobias?" I ask. He stops and looks back at me. "Can you come here for a second?" He walks over and sits on the edge. "Can you kiss me?" He smiles a little taken back by the question. He gives me a quick peck. I place my hand on his shoulder. "No, a real kiss. Like you mean it."
His eyes drop down my lips before kissing me hard. I run my fingers up his smooth back and through his short brown hair. I slowly open my eyes and look into his. I don't know why, but when my chest had met his in the bathroom, something in me changed and I wanted him closer...so much closer.
"Was that good enough?"
"Yeah."

AN: Ooo Trissy is feeling some sort of way haha. I wanted to foreshadow in this chapter so yeah. Please comment and share! Be brave 🔪🔪🔪 -Vaeh
PS: GO CHECK OUT MY NEW STORY FATED!!!