Silence

Chapter 20

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"Do you even know how hard that kind of life is?"

"Yes, and I'm willing to take that risk. They are no different than me. They just have more training."

My parents and I have been arguing in circles for ten minutes. Mom has been particularly hard to convince. And considering I'm going back to Mount Justice tomorrow, I need them to decide quickly. Unfortunately, it seems they've already made it. 

"Exactly!" Mom argues. "They've had training and years of experience. They're used to dangerous situations. You'd think you'd want to be more careful after what happened."

She has a point. I should be terrified to even step outside. I am terrified of what this kind of future will bring. I'm scared out of my wits of what might happen if I put the Team in danger. My muteness could be the difference between life and death. I war with myself every minute wondering if what I want is really worth it.

No, I remind myself. It has to be.

"I am scared," I reply as I fiddle with the new emergency necklace my parents got me. It's a relief to have it back. "but that's not as important as doing what's right."

"I know it may seem like the right thing to do," Dad starts. I want to interrupt, but he stops me. "But sometimes the right thing to do isn't the most heroic. If something ever happened to you... if we agree to this and you get hurt, that's on us. Me and your mom can't live everyday wondering if you're coming home. If we lose you, for good... we wouldn't be able to live with ourselves." 

"I would not be able to live with myself if I had these powers and didn't do anything useful with them."

"Listen," Mom urges, sitting next to me on the couch. "Your powers are... special. It's something we're going to have to live with, but the whole point of learning to control them was so you didn't have to use them."

"It was, until I changed my mind," I retort. "I owe it to them. They saved my life, more than once."

"And we're grateful for that, but that's their job. The whole world owes them a hundred times over, but the world isn't lined up at their doorstep with resumes. Showing gratitude doesn't mean you have have to put you or others at risk."

I sit back in my seat and cross my arms at my dad's words. I start to realize they're not changing their mind on the subject. I've thought long and hard about what to do if they say no. I've considered the obvious choice, but it's too risky.

"Please," I plead desperately. "I know the danger. I know you might worry. I am terrified. But I need this. It's not just the Team. This is something I need to do. This is my chance to be something more."

My parents don't say anything for several moments. We all let the conversation sink in. They look at each other as if they can read each other's mind. Finally my mom speaks.

"This is really important to you, isn't it?"

"Yes."

Mom looks at Dad and he gets a concerned look.

"How about a compromise?" she suggests. My eyes light up with curiosity and hope. "Let's wait till after graduation. If we think you're ready and trained enough, we'll consider it."

"We will?" Dad asks skeptically.

"Yes, and that will give you plenty of time to readjusted to being back home."