hiraeth (floradin)

7 ; beyond everything

Florante did not know what to do now.

It sounded stupid. It sounded dumb as if it should have. Because he has been waiting for this—two years. He has been waiting for Aladin to tell him or for him to tell Aladin.

But right now they stared at each other in silence.

They sat face to face on the bed. Their feet were touching. They were just . . . staring.

Silence.

Florante didn't even know if he could have lit a candle.

It was almost solemn. So secret. Something that had to be kept only between them both. A secret moment hidden from the entire universe.

Aladin spoke first.

"Did you mean it?" he said softly. He tucked his hair behind his ear, and he was playing with the loose string of his favorite pillow. Gorgeous.

Florante tilted his head.

Aladin breathed in sharply. "Am I your everything?" he said it in a breathy whisper. Like he was shy. And Florante heard the blush in his voice.

"You . . ." And then his voice was trembling. "You are so—so much more than . . . that. I cannot even explain it."

Aladin was still.

Florante held his breath.

"What is beyond everything?" he whispered.

Florante slowly reached for him with a hand. He did not resist. He did not object. He did not move away from him. "I do not know," he said.

"What do you know?" Aladin met him halfway. The tips of their fingers touching, tentative. Through darkness. Through space in between. Florante could just make the silhouette of his nose, the sharpening edge of his jaw, the wavy hair.

Florante could always see him clearly.

Him.

In his heart. In his head. In his head when he thought of embarrassing scenarios.

Sometimes shameful.

Sometimes the scenarios made him anticipate. . . things. Had something in the pit of his stomach roaring. Had something that shot his nerves—down there—awake. And he could do nothing but please that ache in him, that building ache he satisfied in secret. Because he was too shameful. He could not bare his own actions.

But right now?

Florante had to admit none of it was like that.

He just wanted to hold Aladin.

He just wanted him to know he was not nothing.

He was not a waste. He was not pathetic. He was not worthless or stupid or useless or broken or anything else.

Aladin was, well, Aladin.

The most beautiful and caring boy in this galaxy and all the other distant ones.

Florante couldn't contain it any longer. "I know that I love you."

Aladin pounced.

Florante was so taken aback he couldn't even breathe.

"I love you," he said back. And Aladin held him down the way Florante always did to him. But he was gentle. He was being careful.