"WE SHOULD STOP," is the first thing that taehyung says to him the next morning. last night, taehyung had stayed up for hours after jeongguk went to sleep just plotting different ways to bring up his idea. he had thought to mention it in passing, as something that's just a thought but he's not sure yet—but taehyung is sure. he doesn't want to harm jeongguk more than he already has, so he has decided of going with the it's not you, it's me approach. "we're not even thinking straight, you know?"
jeongguk smirks despite his confused and worried demeanor. "i'd say we're thinking gay."
taehyung rolls his eyes, and forces himself to say these next words that he doesn't believe even a little bit. god, he hates this so much. "seriously, jeongguk. i have a boyfriend. this isn't fair to him—"
oh. the words slash right through the younger's heart, and he tries to busy himself by putting more pancake batter into a pan even though he knows he's already made too much for two people. he can't help how much his words sound like a frustrated whine when they leave his lips, almost like a child not being able to get the toy they wanted—not that taehyung's a toy, no, fuck that thought, first of all. "he's not fair to you."
he hears a sigh and faint mouth noises. he doesn't have to look behind him to know that the blonde is chewing on his lips nervously; he really wishes he wouldn't do that. "i'm not mad at jihun anymore. i've had time to think about it and i think he was just feeling jealous—"
"you think?"
"—and he wanted reassurance that i wasn't doing anything romantic with you. i mean, you have to admit that we're close. it'd probably worry me to see him out with one of his friends like that."
jeongguk flips the pancake when it's good and golden, "you've been here for how long and you've already came to a conclusion for your problem?"
"yeah," taehyung says happily, but he can't help the pit in his tummy telling him that he doesn't genuinely believe this. "i think i need to go back."
that makes jeongguk turn around to face him finally. his eyes bore into taehyung's and he tries to find some sign of a joke. like, this has to be a fucking joke. "he'll hurt you again, taehyung."
"no, he won't. he loves me."
the younger laughs with no sign of humor. "you're so fucking dense."
taehyung frowns, "d- don't call me that."
the two stare at each other for a few minutes — hoping for the other to understand, not wanting to back down on this one thing that's eating them alive. jeongguk sighs after a while, "so what does this mean? are you just going to avoid me forever in hopes that it'll stop your boyfriend from hurting you? cause let me tell you something, taehyung. that's just fucked. you shouldn't have to do that."
taehyung hides his face in his hands, frustrated with himself and this situation he got himself into; frustrated with the bigger part of him that just wants to hide away here forever, letting jeongguk kiss him, hold him. "i don't know what to do, jeongguk."
jeongguk walks to stand in front of the blonde at the stool he's sitting at. he puts his hands on either side of taehyung's hips and leans his forehead on the boys one. "i'm just scared, baby."
there's that word again; it makes taehyung break. tears stream down his face like a tragic waterfall, and digs his fingernails into the palms of his hand. "i hate this."
"i'm sorry, angel." jeongguk leans in to kiss the sobbing boy's lips but he pulls away, hiding his face again. it leaves the younger looking at him, open-mouthed, and a worried expression plastered on his usually guarded face.
