New to the Family

Clear Mind

My heavy eyelids were barely open when I heard Jared walking around the room. He was changing his clothes and preparing to work outside. I groaned and rolled onto my side. Jared sat on the edge of the bed as he did up the buttons on his plaid shirt. He ran his fingers along the bare skin of my back. Goosebumps developed across my arms. I balled the sheets up in my fist and pulled them up higher.

"Are you going to be good today?" he asked.

I nodded my head, and pain ran down my skull. Jared smiled and leaned in to kiss the side of my temple.

"I'm going to give you something to keep you calm," he said.

He reached over to the nightstand and pulled out another needle. I curled up into a tighter ball.

"No," I said. "Please don't."

"It's only a little bit," he said.

Jared pulled the sheets out of my grasp. I grabbed his wrist, but he pulled my hand off of him and placed it down on the mattress. There was a sharp pinch in my thigh as Jared injected me. He pulled the blankets up and tucked them around me.

"I love you," he said. "I am going to try and come in early. It depends if Dad lets me."

He kissed my cheek before standing up. He left the bedroom and I could not keep my eyes open any longer.

--

I groaned when I felt the mattress dip under someone's weight. I opened my eyes expecting it to be Jared, but it was Lindsay instead. Her hair was tied back in a bun, and it looked like she had not brushed it in days. Her eyes were bright red, but she had heavy dark bags. She had on what looked like one of Gabe's sweaters.

"How are you feeling, sweetheart?" she asked.

"Please," I said. My mouth was dry, and my throat burned. "Lindsay please stop this."

"I heard about what you did," she said. "You're lucky they aren't punishing you more. I broke the lock off of the kitchen door when I first came here. It was such a stupid decision. Noah was so angry at me."

Lindsay rolled up the hem of her sweater to expose her stomach. In thick white scars, Wilcox was written across her skin. She let out a deep breath as she dropped her sweater.

"Gabe and Jared love you so much," she said. "You are getting off easy."

I squeezed my eyes shut. I have lost Theo. I have lost the only person in this house with a shred of sanity. A tear rolled down my cheek. Lindsay wiped it away with the back of her finger.

"I miss Theo," I said.

"I do too," Lindsay said. I could hear her fighting with her voice to stop it from wavering. "I miss him so much. A mother should never lose a child."

I thought back to my mother in Alaska. She had probably spent many nights crying about losing me. She had my sister, but I was still one of her children. My heart pounded in my chest as I thought about my future.

I was never going to see her again. I was going to spend the rest of my life in this house with this family. This would be my new family. I was going to have to depend on Jared for everything. I was going to spend my life trying to keep Jared happy.

"I'm never going home," I said.

"You are already home," Lindsay said.

She swung her legs up onto the bed. She lied down next to me, and was staring up at the ceiling. Her hands were folded on her chest. I tried to push myself up on one elbow, but I collapsed onto the bed.

"I am so glad to have you as a daughter," she said. "I have been waiting twenty years for a daughter. Gabe couldn't have picked someone more perfect. You're beautiful, kind, and sweet. Jared is going to keep you safe from the outside world."

"What's so bad about the outside world?" I asked. "I lived there for eighteen years and was fine."

"Didn't you have anyone that hurt you?" she asked.

"My boyfriend was a jerk," I said. "He never hurt me though."

"Wasn't he cheating on you?" she asked. "Gabe told me about how he found you upset in a motel."

"We fought," I said. "But it was never physical."

"Jared would never hurt you like that," she said. "He would never do something so awful as being unfaithful to you."

I shook my head. I tried to push myself up again, but my arm wobbled and I collapsed on the bed. Lindsay sat up and grabbed a blanket off the end of the bed. She covered it over me before running her fingers through my hair.

"I remember the day I realized that this was the place I belong," she said. "It was the day I found out I was pregnant with Jared. I realize that Gabe was going to protect me and my babies. I felt like such an idiot for spending those few months fighting back. You will realize that you leaving the house was a dumb decision soon. Life is so much better when you love this family."

I closed my eyes. My hand wandered down to flat stomach. I could already be pregnant. The thought of that caused a shiver to run up my spine.

"I should start dinner," she said. "Jared should be in soon."

She got up off of the bed and walked to the doorway. She turned in the doorway and stared at me. She smiled before walking down the hall.

Lindsay's words were running through my mind. I was exhausted. I was tired of constantly fighting against Jared. He was doing what he believed was right. He was doing what he believed was going to keep me safe. Owen never did anything like that. The man I used to be in love with betrayed and lied to me. How could I not have seen that Jared actually cared for me more than Owen ever did.

I took in a deep breath before pushing myself up with one arm. I gritted my teeth as I sat up on the bed. I wrapped the sheets around my naked body. I slowly moved to the edge of the bed. My bare feet touched the cold floor. I pushed up off of the bed, but my knees wobbled. I sat back down on the bed before I collapsed on the floor.

A group of voices came from downstairs. The stairs creaked as someone walked up. I tightened my grip on the sheets. I tucked the loose strands of my hair behind my ears.

Jared walked into the room. His eyes grew wide and he hurried over to me. He got down on his knees in front of me. He put his hands on my shoulders like he was trying to steady my drowsy body.

"What are you doing?" he asked. "I told you to rest."

"Will you hurt me again?" I asked.

Jared knit his eyebrows together. He reached up and cupped my face with his cold hands.

"Beautiful, I never want to hurt you," he said.

I leaned into his hands. He never did want to hurt me. He only ever put his hands on me to try and punish me. He was only punishing me because I was listening to him. If I listened to him and let him keep me safe, I was never going to be hurt again. I could live a happy life as long as I kept Jared happy.

I leaned forward and pressed my lips against Jared's. He was stiff, shocked by my actions, and then kissed me back. I pulled away to see him smiling. His smile caused the corner of my lips to lift into a smile.

"I'm sorry," I said.

"For what?" he asked.

"For leaving," I said. "I don't know what I was thinking."

"I love you, Leah," he said.

I took in a sharp breath. This was it. I had to take a big step into my future. A future where I was protected and loved.

"I love you," I said.