𝒖𝒏𝒓𝒆𝒒𝒖𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 • 𝙩𝙬𝙤𝙨𝙚𝙩 • ✓

{31st of May - b.y ; e.c}

today, i was at the field again, the sky flashing yet another vivid sunset, the wind ruffling the strands of my hair. i was crouching on the grass, plucking some dandelions and blowing them towards the flow of the wind, letting it pick the seedlings up and whisk them away to whatever unknown place that awaits them. i was so focused that i did not realise someone's footsteps approach me until i could see their shoes at some distance in front of me from the rims of my glasses. i look up to see eddy. he was holding a dandelion, his face unreadable.

"i'd never thought i'd get another chance to talk to you."

was all he said.

i stared at him, feeling confused. i could feel my irregular pulse rate and my nervous heart that is now beating at a quicker pace than before. i tried to read his expression at the best i could.

his eyes were dazed, it had a slightly dreamy look to it. he was in a standing posture, but i feel like he would collapse onto the grass any time sooner. his calloused hand was daintily clasping a dandelion with two fingers, and his gaze shifted from the soaring dandelion that was dancing in the wind to meet with mine. his look softened even more, which i didn't think was humanly possible to, and proceeds to give me a very light and faint smile.

we stayed there, looking into each other's eyes, trying to decipher the feelings of one another. the sunset faded, but we were still in silence. the train went by over our heads, but we never left each other. the streetlamps lighted up, but we were not alone as we had each other, even for just a while. even for just a moment. even for just one day.

____________________________________________________________

before i slept, i turned to lay on my back, glancing at the stars that seemingly brightened up my unlit room through the window on the roof of the ceiling. a hand ran through my hair as i contemplated, deep in thought of what had happened later that evening before dusk. the more i thought about it, the more my cheeks grew warmer on both sides.

what were you thinking, eddy?

but i knew i couldn't stop myself, my feelings for brett sprung out like flowers blooming in spring, except it'll stay much longer through the seasons, like undying flames of love.

i sat up, my head whirling to face my violin case that sat near the corner of the room on a chair. i got up and dragged my feet across the wooden boards quietly. my fingers hovered to the case and with a 'click', the case popped open and revealed my violin, its wooden surface seemingly shining.

i fixed on the shoulder rest, got my bow covered in rosin and lifted my violin.

the atmosphere was filled with sweet-sounding violin music, in which in its melody, conveyed my hidden feelings for him, all the love and affection expressed through my expressions and the movement of my playing. with my emotions overflowing, my melody gradually became tired of its usual tempo and rhythm. as i went faster, my mind was filled with unstable thoughts: the thoughts of me hungrily wanting to have him, the thoughts of possible denial, the thoughts of acceptance and most of all, the thought of having to let my heart down to someone who also has the potential to break my heart to two, just like before it was mended back poorly with excuses and lies. the thoughts filled me with guilt and sorrow - what was supposedly a lovesong became a battle between phrases, each of them, like my thoughts, are fighting for dominance. it was sorrowful before, then raging the next, then remorseful, then frustrating. it continued for so long, deep into the night until my fingers were finally sore, my neck aching, my eyes watery and my heart weighing down on my body.

quietly, i dragged myself back to sleep in complete silence, my heart pounding in my chest.