Red Herring ✔️

28. Crafty Conspiracies

Mazie wasn't one to lose sleep over much of anything. Nightmares didn't keep her awake in the middle of the night. Life stressors tended to make her drowsier. She slept through relationship and friendship problems because she knew that they would be there in the morning. 

She could really only remember this one time she couldn't sleep and that's when her parents broke the news of their imminent divorce, her mom danced around the town all night long, and her dad disappeared with no information of his whereabouts. And Mazie was left home alone. 

Coming in close second was a mid-October night when Mazie discovered someone in her school had been raped (possibly by her boyfriend) and she couldn't stop imagining how Demi felt, how she screamed and tried to get away in the midst of the chaos, and how she didn't have any friends to support her. Her skin crawled like ants were inching around underneath the surface of her skin. No matter how she lie in bed, she couldn't get comfortable. The more she realized the sleepless time was ticking by, the more she realized how badly she needed to close her eyes and slumber. 

Unfortunately, Mazie's thoughts ran in treacherous circles of what happened to Demi and what Mazie would do if she had been in Demi's shoes. She was surprised by her rather morbid thoughts. Then again, a woman could never be too cautious or prepared when it came to sexual assault. In conjunction, the statistics worsened and worsened, and that only made her head spin faster. 

Purely based off of her personality and life experiences, Mazie considered herself a tough person both mentally and physically. Logically, she knew that she would be a pretty easy target because she didn't actively work out or engage in school sports. She bartered with herself whether or not her mental strength and tenacity would make up for the fact that her body wasn't constructed of rock hard muscles. Would she fight harder because she refused to give in? 

That got her thinking about her fight or flight response. The first time she ventured into the woods by herself, she was terrified. Christian's sneak attack proved that she wouldn't be able to fight off an assailant. So how much adrenaline did her body actually produce in times of trouble and trauma? She googled the answer and didn't get very far. It somewhat varied person to person, and that didn't make her feel any better. What if her adrenals were failing? 

The theater and dramatics worsened by the hour. Every worst case scenario escalated in her mind to this horrifying insurmountable mountain until she was nearly convulsing in fear of a demon that didn't even haunt her. 

Mazie decided that she would tell someone right away and confide in a friend or relative, like Fe, if she were sexually assaulted. She would need justice to be able to move on. As she lie awake on her back, staring up at the dark ceiling and the little white ghosts that hung from her ceiling fan and swung in circles, she reminded herself that there was no best case scenario. She could plan and prepare to be safe. She could plan and prepare for the worst. But that didn't mean she wouldn't completely dissolve into a puddle of nonexistence in the face of trauma. 

When the clock hit one in the morning, Mazie decided to distract her mind by surfing through social media. Sometimes that made her sleepy. 

Mazie opened her phone to three recent text messages from Christian. She eagerly opened the app and clicked on his name. 

C - you awake? 

C - please get up

C - I have a mission for us if you choose to accept it 

She wasn't going to answer because nothing good ever happened from one in the morning text messages to boys, but the curiosity ate her alive. 

M - Okay, Tom Cruise, hit me