The Deep End

11

Chapter Song: It's Not The Same Anymore- Rex Orange County

"But why are you writing your essay on Icarus?" Cal laughed in my face.

I was on my stomach across his navy sheets with paper sprawled out in front of me, with my laptop off to the side. His sheets were soft so I had to keep shifting every so often to not get too comfortable, or else I might fall asleep.

Cal decided to sit at his desk putting a respectable distance between us. He had his legs propped up on his desk using it as a footrest while he held a pen between his teeth. He was grinning wild at me as if Icarus was the wildest concept he had ever heard. I couldn't help but roll my eyes at his amusement.

So far, there hadn't been tension oddly enough. Maybe it was because the spaces we chose felt like our own little life rafts. We weren't invading each other's personal bubble. Although I was kind of invading his since it was his room.

We had been working on our English essay for about an hour. Each semester we were given a ten-page term paper due, depending on the topic. This semester we discussed the tragedy in mythology. If I was being honest I was a little excited to write this paper. I hardly even spoke to Cal in the past hour until he finally asked me about my paper.

"Well, what are you even writing about then hmm?" I leaned against the palm of my hand looking into his eyes.

"Medusa," he smirked at me with a glimmer in his eyes.

I let out a frustrated groan, "and you're calling me basic". I forced my head down onto his sheets. He threw a crumpled piece of paper at me causing me to look at him in annoyance.

I turned back towards my papers in front of me trying to figure out my next plan. So far I brainstormed all the possible topics (including Medusa but I wouldn't let him see this paper). Once I finally decided on Icarus I began to research everything and anything that I could get a hold of writing down 6 pages worth of notes on him. I guess I could begin my outline.

"I mean she was raped by Poseidon, and got turned into a gorgon to live out her days in isolation. Her curse was used as an escape from him, only to be killed by another." He stated matter of factly. I had to admit I was impressed.

"I guess I never thought of it in that sense." I pondered out loud

"Exactly Kenny it's all about perspective." He looked at me with curious eyes, "so why Icarus?"

I forced my body to get up and sit cross-legged rather than lying down, "well the more I read about him the more it seems that he wanted to fall."  He looked at me silently nodding to continue. "I mean," I began again, "what's worse to be trapped in a tower or to be free?" I asked him.

"Free as in dead?" he asked.

"Yeah which one would you rather be?" I continued to question him. I think I was just genuinely becoming curious at this point rather than asking a rhetorical question.

"I think he flew closer to the sun because the intoxication of being free was too overbearing. Think about it, you've been trapped your whole life finally get out and someone gives you rules of what not to do." He paused staring at his hands. "I mean aren't you more tempted to doing something when someone tells you no?" He looked at me for an answer.

I wasn't sure what we were still talking about though. Were we talking about Icarus or Liam's rule? It couldn't be Liam. Maybe that was just on my mind because he apologized to me today. It wasn't that.

We were talking about Icarus I reassured myself. A small part of me wanted to believe we were talking about us. When I looked at him his eyes suggested something other than Icarus.

"Makes sense." I bit at my already too short nail beds.

"See I'm not that dumb." He shook his head at me.

"I never said you were."

With a shrug of his shoulders, he admitted, "some people do."

" Like who?" I asked sitting up.

He was getting serious now. I never heard people say Cal was a dumb jock. Maybe because the only thing I ever heard about him was how hot he was.

"People just assume I'm dumb because I'm good at sports." He looked at me. I noticed the lines of his forehead begin to wrinkle the more he opened up. "I'm actually pretty good at school."

"I know," I reminded him.

"I mean I'm the top of our class."

"Don't remind me." I rolled my eyes ."I'm only one spot behind you." I'd really been trying to focus on my schoolwork so I could hopefully get ahead of him.

"Like you're smart, you're good looking, you kick ass at lacrosse. It's the trifecta. I still don't even know how it happened." I scoffed. I didn't realize I had said the last part out loud until I saw him gasp raising his eyebrows.

As embarrassing as it was I liked that I saw the hardness melt away. Serious Cal was a little scary. Maybe because he always wore a mask. Sometimes you had to take it off.

"Did you just admit that I'm good looking." A menacing smile bloomed.

"Oh please don't try to make it seem like you had no idea what you looked like." I groaned into my hands. He knew he was good looking. I knew he was good looking. Everyone knew. 

He leaned forward on his elbows to look at me. While I sat straight up on his bed, he was eye level with me. He still had to slouch forward, but now he could look right into my eyes. Great.

"Admit it you think I'm hot." He teased me.

"Oh my god." I groaned again.

"Well since you won't admit it, and you said all of those things I just have to assume you have a crush on me, Parker." His hopeful eyes continued to stare at me. He was waiting for me to break, but I wasn't going to give in first. No way. 

"Don't flatter yourself." I shrugged beginning to pick at a piece of lint on my pants.

"Admit it."

"There's nothing to admit!"

"Uh-huh," the corners of his mouth tilted up.

"Whatever." I looked down again feeling my face grow hot. Like I was ever going to admit that.

Oh my god. I like Cal McCormick. No fucking way. This cannot be happening.

"Oh, c'mon I was only kidding with you." His playful facade faded thinking that I was actually upset. "Besides you're my best friend's sister it would be weird."

Ouch.

So that was what he thought. How interesting. I saw as he tried to play it off but I could tell he was holding something back. Almost that his words were for convincing him and not me. Either way it still kind of hurt hearing it. Still didn't make it hurt any less hearing that.

"Besides that would take away from all your other girlfriends." I sighed throwing my palm to my forehead. I tried to imitate a damsel in distress.

"Girlfriends?" he stared. It was as if he never heard the word before. 

"Oh please like you don't have the entire Junior class fawning over you." I teased. "I'm sure you have Homecoming dates lining up and down our street hoping you would ask them." 

"If they do I don't notice."

"And why is that?" I furrowed my brows. Was he actually being serious?

"I guess I've been paying attention to someone else."