The Deep End

November

Chapter Song: Circles- Post Malone

The past few weeks I strategically avoided Cal. When he would come over, I would go for a run, go over to Riley's, or stay in my room. In school, I would walk a different route to classes, or sit in the front row so I didn't have to look at him. I would do whatever it took to avoid him. Mainly it was because I still wasn't over that stupid kiss.

Even now, thinking about it sent electrical currents throughout my entire body. There was something about it. It was soft and passionate but also hungry. It was like the last time he would ever get to kiss anyone.

 Maybe it was he needed to get it off his chest. Poor out all his feelings he thought he had and once he kissed me it disappeared. I hoped that it was the case. It would make everything much more simple. Then I could just get over the idea of us ever having feelings for each other. 

I took another big bite from my bowl of Lucky Charms I was eating as I paced back and forth. More than anything I wanted these feelings to go away. They just couldn't exist. I took another bite and chewed carefully thinking about how I could make these feelings go away.

I could find another guy to date. I wasn't even dating Cal, but maybe dating someone else would help get everyone off our backs. Maybe if he got back with Noelle. No, she was a jerk. I opened for another bite.

I just couldn't do it to Liam. No matter how much I wanted to sort out these feelings I had to stop entertaining the thoughts. We only had these feelings because everyone was telling us no. Like he said a few weeks ago about wanting something more because you couldn't have it. That had to be it.

"Hey, Parker come join us!" I heard Cal call from the game room.

"Yeah, you've been avoiding us for weeks what's your deal?" Tyler chimed in. I could see him smile widely from where I was standing in my doorway.

"Rude," Mason commented grinning at me.

I stopped right where I with my mouth full of Lucky Charms and my spoon holding out another bite. I really should have just stayed upstairs in the kitchen.

"Mmm, no thanks," I said between more bites of cereal. The more I ate the less I had to say. So I kept shoveling in spoonfuls of cereal.

"Are you eating my Lucky Charms?" Liam gasped.

"Our," I stated, pointing my spoon at him. 

"Oh c'mon join us please KP," Mason begged, giving me the puppy dog eyes. I rolled my eyes when everyone else including Liam joined in. Why did they want my company anyways? I didn't even play video games with them. 

"I have to work on my essay for English its due at the end of the month." I groaned. It wasn't a lie. I really was going to work on it tonight.

"Here," Cal said pushing a punch or snacks, wrappers, and wads of paper towels to the other side of the coffee table leaving a large space. "Now you have room to do your homework".

"And you can use my headphones," Liam said. They were tempting.

"But Riley is supposed to come over and watch The Bachelor after our essays," I said taking another mouthful of cereal. It was starting to get soggy which really grossed me out so I had to eat it faster.

"So do your homework with us and then well watch the bachelor with you." Ty shrugged as if they did it all the time. They never offered that. It was sounding really tempting.

"There's no way you guys could make it through the entire episode of The Bachelor," I said bluntly.

I stood corrected.