History3: Make Our Days Count (Miracle)

Family Dinner

His parents had been in an event when he packed his bags and left behind a crying little sister who he could tell knew what he planned on his trek to the Himalayas. He should feel guilt for what he did, but as his death brought him back to Yu Xi Gu, there's no room for remorse in his soul. If he were to do it again, he won't think twice of committing to the same decision.

For the past six or so years, his sole reason for existing was to achieve Xi Gu's dreams. Making his parents proud of his achievements was simply a natural side-effect that he didn't really care much for. He excelled in everything he did because Xi Gu would be naturally brilliant in everything he did. Xiang Hao Ting refused to be a poor instrument for his beloved's goals and aspirations. Wouldn't settle for anything but the best. And so he barely gave himself a moment's worth of rest, absorbing knowledge like a sponge at alarming speed.

The nonstop studying helped with the symptoms that felt like an ever present companion beneath his skin. Kept the worst of the attacks desperately at bay. But there were times when the loss would inevitably hit like a supernova, tearing open wounds that never healed. He'd spiral, black out, go missing for days. Losing time, losing himself.

He's lost count of the times he'd woken up in the hospital, aching all over, the physical pain never really lessening the agony in his heart. He'd have scratches, bruises, lacerations, nothing but hazy bits and pieces of memories with family crying and begging him to stop scaring them so much. The doctors always said he was lucky, that he could have easily walked into traffic during his blackouts. More than one nurse joked that he had a guardian angel watching over him.

He'd wished it was true, had begged Xi Gu to show him some kind of sign if he was really there. But there never was. He was only deluding himself. He'd marginally recover then go back to drowning in research material. Spiral again. Rinse. Repeat.

It was after the third year anniversary of Xi Gu's death that he tried to move on after a health scare from his father. Xiang Hao Ting did what he could, he truly did, no matter how difficult. He looked better outside. He no longer crumpled down every few hours, learned the art of dead-eyed stares, then his father introduced him to a family friend's daughter.

Phoebe was two years his senior and aspired to be an Astrophysicist like he did. She already had the love of her life. A girl named Su Jin, who she had every intention of marrying after getting her PhD and then permanently stay in California. He'd gotten into Stanford all on his own, but they made it seem like she had a hand in the acceptance. Made the relationship more believable. Until she got married, he was fine with being her pretend boyfriend.

And then he met the sibling that Yu Xi Gu never knew existed. Or maybe he did, but had been too young to remember that he had a little brother, still a baby when they lost their parents, that his aunt had given up for adoption because of her incapacity to provide for them both. Another loved one that was stolen from Xi Gu by cruel fate and circumstance.

Zhu Ji Wei spent the majority of his life in Hongkong until his adoptive parents decided to relocate in Taiwan back in 2022. He's a bright kid, playful, though too obsessed with video games even as a college student with his head constantly lost in daydreams. He always made Xiang Hao Ting bitterly think of the time Xi Gu had cried, wondering how he would have turned out if he didn't lose his parents at such a young age. Xi Gu could have been like Zhu Ji Wei, happy and carefree. Alive.

Meeting and mentoring him had been a good thing, a respite from the endless cycle of torture. But the longer they were together, with Zhu Ji Wei looking so much like the love of his life but behaved and sounded nothing like him, the pain and longing only kept getting worse and worse.