Love Is Flower Like

Chapter 23

Edited 05/30/21

Spring break rolled around quickly, and Meadow couldn't help but be relieved. Spring break meant she wouldn't have to worry about schoolwork for an entire week. It also meant she'd be able to sleep more. Hopefully. Who knew what went through Sam's head when he assigned patrols. She felt like her entire body was made of lead every day. The only thing keeping her going was the adrenaline that pumped through her body every time she patrolled and the gallons of coffee she drank every day.

She missed the days she only had to worry about school, work, and Jake. It was so much easier back then. She could stay in her room for hours on end. She could keep her emotions inside and choose when she wanted to talk and when she didn't. She could sleep throughout an entire night without waking up once. She could do so many things that she couldn't do now.

Now, she had to be outside for hours on end, she had to use her words to communicate with others, she had to let her emotions out, she had to stay up and couldn't sleep for more than three hours straight. Hell, she had to quit her job to keep up with her patrol schedule.

She was so out of her element, and yet it gave her a sense of satisfaction. She'd never had a goal in mind for her future. She was just going to pass school and stay on the reservation to take care of her dad until he died. But she had a plan now. A dream. A goal. And she was going to achieve it.

Meadow sighed as she watched Jake leave the house to hang out with Bella. She was left alone in the house with her dad, who she hadn't properly spoken to since she shifted. Unconsciously, she messed with her fingers and thought of a way to approach her dad. She bit the inside of her lip hard and yelped at the pain that spread throughout her mouth. She stood from her seat and walked into the living room. Her dad was watching TV when she entered, and he looked at her when he caught sight of her. Awkwardly, she sat down on the couch across from him and sat so that she was curled against the fabric. She cleared her throat and asked, "Can we talk?"

She winced as it came out hoarsely and unsurely and ducked her head. The TV turned off and enveloped the room in silence. She picked up her head and made eye contact with her dad. He was giving her all his attention, which was a first for her. It made her uncomfortable. She took a deep breath in before she started the conversation she had been putting off.

"I wanted to, um, talk about - well, I," she stumbled over her words and blushed in embarrassment. She didn't know how to start the conversation; she didn't know how to tell him how she felt.

"Take your time, Meadow," he encouraged her. She stopped talking and nodded her head.

"I wanted to talk about - I just feel like - I'm sorry," she said, chickening out. She lowered her head so that her hair shadowed her face. It was quiet until she heard a heavy sigh.

"I'm sorry, too, Meadow," Billy apologized. She looked up in surprise and stared at him with wide eyes. She couldn't believe he was apologizing. Her dad was a prideful man, like most fathers, so she'd never heard him apologize before. She gave him a confused look. He registered it and continued.

"I haven't been completely fair to you," he confessed. "After your mom died and your sisters left, I relied on you to make sure Jake was taken care of."

"Why?" she asked. "Why did you let me take that role on? I'm barely older than him."

"I was hit hard by your mother's death. And when your sisters left, I - I didn't know what to do with myself," he explained.

"We were all hit by mom's death," Meadow said. She was annoyed. All of them were affected by Sarah Black's death. And all of them dealt with it in their own way. Rachel and Rebecca fled town, Billy wallowed in his own pity, and Jake put on a continuous smile. And Meadow? She shut down even more and gained a fiercer sense to protect her family. That was why she couldn't completely hate her dad or leave him to live by himself.