chapter ³⁷

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❝ Astrology is a language

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Astrology is a language.
If you know it,
the stars speak to you

THE GAS LIGHT HAD BEEN on for forty-five minutes but there still wasn't any sign of civilization

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THE GAS LIGHT HAD BEEN on for forty-five minutes but there still wasn't any sign of civilization. I didn't understand how I made it this far but didn't really care.

What was the worst that could happen?

I just had to make it to the next exit. And then somehow have enough money to pay for gas, drive to Centrum without stopping, find Cade, and—well, I guess I'd go from there.

It was the peak of the night. Completely pitch black. The rain started half an hour ago but it was coming down in buckets. Thunder was threatening to strike the sky as I flew down the highway at a hundred miles per hour.

And then there was a groan coming from the engine. My foot slammed on the gas but no matter how hard I pushed, the car moved slower and slower until I was stuck in the breakdown lane.

My phone was dead. My car was dead. My soul was dead.

The wind was so violent and the rain so hellish that I knew the gods were punishing me. As if to say this was all my fault and it was long overdue.

I thought of Cade. I pictured his face in my mind and imagined what he'd say if he were with me.

He'd probably make a stupid comment to try and make me laugh.

Almost immediately without thinking, I grabbed my dead phone and all of the money I could find and ran out into the impending monsoon.

My body was so out of shape that I could barely run for more than five minutes at a time. At one point I stopped running altogether and stuck to walking. I was exhausted from driving all day and night, not to mention living off the granola bars I found in the glove compartment.

I wanted to give up. So badly.

My feet didn't feel attached to my body, my lungs were on fire, my clothes and hair were drenched, and my bladder was about to explode. I felt disgusting. I felt hopeless.

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