Southern Boy Charm | ✓

Chapter 36

I am at a loss for words.

When I separated from Nick on the night of the dance, I thought it was the last time that I would ever see him. I had spent the whole rest of the night half-awake, the other portion of my brain too preoccupied with the difficult idea of letting go.

I had moved on. I focused on having the best senior year that I could with my friends. I focused on repairing my rocky relationship with Jack into the amazing friendship that it is today. Most importantly, I focused on being okay with being alone and knowing the importance of having a healthy relationship instead of a toxic one. It had taken time, but I had done it. But with him, standing in front of me now, I'm afraid of all my work being shred to pieces.

His face is contorted into shock. "Leighton?" he asks, but we both know that we recognize each other. How couldn't we?

"You guys know each other?" PJ asks. I'm so wrapped up in what's happening between the two of us that his voice in the distance makes me jump a little.

"Yeah, we're..."

I struggle with how to describe him. Were we ever even dating? Are we exes? Are we friends? I settle on "family friends." My eyes peek at Nick when I say it. His face morphs from one of shock to a small, distant smile, as if he's recalling happy memories. He seems so different now. Sure, his brown hair is just as messy as it has always been, but something about his being himself seems changed. Like he's happier, in a way. Or maybe that's just what I want to believe.

"The party is going to be over if we don't get a move on already! Come on everybody off your tushes."

Katy gestures us all off our seats and basically skips towards the door. PJ is right on her heels. His eyes stay focused on her backside as she walks, and I'm so close to slapping him on the side of the head when Nick taps him on his shoulder and says in a low voice so that Katy can't hear, "Show her some respect and keep your eyes up." PJ flushes a bright red and glues his eyes above her head.

I fall into stride beside Nick. "Thanks for saying something. That was really decent of you."

He shakes his head dismissively. "You don't have to thank anyone for doing the right thing." I figure those are pretty good words to live by, so I send him a smile, and he sends me the same smile that I once fell in love with right back.

***

The party is packed. I didn't know that it was even possible to stuff so many drunken-half clothed teenagers into one fraternity house, but yet again college surprises me. The four of us have to shift our bodies sideways just to squeeze through the crowd. Katy is leading the charge, and the three of us follow her lead. The end goal seems to be the kitchen, because once we arrive at the slightly less crowded island, lined with drinks, Katy stops.

As she grabs a bottle of white liquor and four red solo cups, I try to calm my brain from the sensory overload. The loud bass from the EDM song playing at the moment shakes the room and fills my ears to the point where it is almost painful. Sweaty bodies all around me press together, jumping up and down, grinding, or even kissing. Crushed red solo cups and discarded paper towels that are soaked in different colors of spilt liquid litter the ground. The floor feels tacky, making each step that I take require more effort than it should. I may have only been here for less than five minutes, but I know then and there that this is not my scene. I have a feeling that tonight I will be counting down the minutes until I can leave.

Katy slides each cup of liquor in front of us. The drink inside swishes and leaps over the lip of the cup, leaving a small puddle on the tabletop next to it. I was never a drinker in high school. I always had a strong aversion for it. But standing in this midst of this craziness, I know that the only way that partying will be enjoyable for me is if I put my feelings aside and down the vile drink. When I bring the cup to my nose, it burns, and I automatically recoil in disgust. Is it worth having fun if it requires doing something that I'm not comfortable doing?

Nick slides his cup back to Katy. "Thanks, but I'm good."

Katy pouts. "Why? Did you want something else instead?"

He shakes his head. "It's okay, I just don't drink." My eyes go wide. Nick doesn't drink? The same Nick from last summer who always reserved to drowning his problems in alcohol?

"More for me," PJ says, and downs his cup along with Nick's. I slide him mine. "You can have this one too." PJ reaches for it, but Katy beats him to it and downs the cup. "Alright who's ready to party! "she yells, and PJ hoots in reply before following her into the sea of bodies.

It's just Nick and I now, and an air of awkward silence washes over us. "How are you?" I ask politely.

"Good. How are you."

"Good."

Silence again.

"You look nice." I say, and then immediately wish that I could take it back. "Not in like a weird way or anything. I just meant that you look happy." I want to bury me head in thick sand until I disappear.

He laughs. "You look good, too."

The bass thunders on. I can feel myself already developing a headache. I need to get out of here. "Do you maybe want to..."

"Leave?" He asks, cutting me off. My mouth cracks into a big smile as I nod. I guess we're on the same page.

He cracks a smile right back. "I thought you'd never ask."