I Love You I Do (under construction)

Chapter Three

M A R E E N A

Woof! Woof!

Loud barking disturbs my peaceful slumber. Last night Mrs. Irene and Mr. Leonardo, ate dinner with us and left abruptly. The dinner was kind of awkward despite the conversation we had. Steven was silent the entire time, and was harshly stabbing his food.

Despite his brutish behavior it was an enjoyable dinner. Mrs.Folagio is quite a character as well as Mr. Folagio.

The way he looks at her in pure love was so beautiful. I pray one day GOD will bring me somebody who looks at me in love.

Steven acted very grumpily the entire time as we conversed. It seemed that he had closed up his heart again.

Sometimes I think that when you meet somebody you see a little of what's in there heart. Steven's heart has a big old imaginary brick wall in front of it. Now I'm aware the Bible says, "Above all else guard your heart for everything you do flows from it", but I know the word isn't meant in that context.

That chapter talks about steering clear of corruption and focusing on GOD. The Bible also says "Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good"- 1 Peter 3:13. I am eager to do good, but I think God has hardened Steven.

I have a feeling that Steven has gone through a whole lot of pain, and I don't think the scars left on his heart have healed. I got a glimpse behind his facade yesterday but he quickly put the wall back up.

I know well and good that the only thing that can break that wall down is GOD. Over the years I've realized that GOD will break you down completely to make you way better than you were before.

At first I didn't realize why people called God the potter. We are all like molds of clay. God will sculpt us and we have imperfections— dents, holes and chips. God will smash us down and in my life that symbolizes when I felt like I hit rock bottom. Everything was stripped away.

Then I was sculpted again— God, the potter made me anew. The dents, holes and chips are no longer.

When my Grandmother died I thought part of me did too. Sadness seemed to swallow me up. I cried day in and out praying for GOD to bring her back. I lived with my Grandmother since I was 8 years old. Mom was strung out on drugs and Social Services took me away.

Grandma took me in and raised me. She was my best friend— took me to church every Sunday, made sure I prayed and she loved me. Grandma died and because I was 19 I was considered an adult. I had no job and no way to pay the bills. Thank the Lord for my church family they helped me with the expenses for Grandma's funeral. Got evicted and thrown into the streets. Shelters were all full and no caring relatives to ask for help.

I wondered what I had done that GOD had been punishing me. But one day I found a Bible on the street. Looked brand new in the middle of the sidewalk. A sign straight from GOD. Started reading the word and everything started to make sense. Joy seeped back into my soul. I rejoiced at the fact that I knew my Grandmother was with the Great Lord in Heaven.

And now here I lay in a comfy bed with clean clothes on and food in my belly. Heart healed and faith restored. GOD made me anew.

Smiling I practically skip downstairs. The house is silent and I realize that it's early. Louie and Ellie trot to each of my sides and I pat their heads and make my way to the kitchen.