Reborn

Chapter 38|Sink

*walks in timidly*

Hi...

So it's been quite some time since I've updated... I'm so so sorry 😭

I have this extremely long chapter here for you guys. 5k words long. I'm hoping you'll enjoy it.

I'm back on wattpad and I'll be updating better now.

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Bianca's POV

Three days.

It's been three whole days since I stared into her soulless eyes.

I remember vividly what happened in that room. Seconds after I screamed Shawn and Jasmine seemed to find me in seconds. I was frozen on the spot so Shawn had to carry me out of the room. I was a sobbing mess.

For the next few hours I was in denial. I didn't want to believe what I saw but a large part of me knew it was true.

Clara killed herself.

That clause has been running through my mind since then, followed by a tsunami of guilt that just can't help but drown me.

I don't know why but the sight traumatized me. I've stared into the eyes of many dead, like the man from the library and even Zoe but none hit me as hard as Clara's did.

Maybe it's because I'm not the one who took her life?

Though, I do feel responsible for the death of an amazing person who didn't deserve this. Is it her sickness that led her to this track? Was it the fact we talked about her abortion?

What did I do wrong? Why did she kill herself?

These questions have been on my mind all through these three days and I haven't slept since then.

I tried sleeping last night but the first thing I see are those darn eyes that won't leave me alone. Even though she's far from alive, it almost feels like they're following me.

I don't think I'll be able to sleep knowing I triggered the suicidal thoughts in her, especially after staring at her lifeless body for God knows how long.

Jasmine and Caleb found her hair in her bathroom sink, they searched for more clues but were left with nothing.

The only thing we got from her was the text and the note she left me, which no one knows about, and I don't plan on telling.

I let out a shaky breath as I layed on the bed with my hands on my stomach, my legs straight and my head facing the ceiling.

I haven't moved from the bed in hours, but mostly because I don't want to.

Sleep has been an option that I've been craving, but I'm too scared of the nightmare that will come with it.

My mood has been at it's absolute lowest lately and I could almost imagine the grey cloud looming above me.

I'd occasionally cry, but that's it. I'm numb but at the same time I feel so hurt and sad. No one has come to check on me, and sometimes I'd go to the kitchen to get food and avoid human contact as much as possible.

First, it was Caleb who died trying to fight for me, leaving so much behind. Now it's Clara, who died because I can't keep my big mouth shut.

I could feel my lip start quivering and I bit it unconsciously, feeling my eyes brim with tears.

The only thing I could hear was my loud breathing and my beating heart. Everything else was quiet.

I managed to swallow my tears and thought about sleeping again. I let out a long breath to muster up the courage and turned to the side.