But.... I need you

🖤Ouma...💜

I have a girlfriend. Kaede has been my girlfriend since the 3rd year of junior high that means we have been together for 1 and a half years.
She great honestly. Super nice and pretty.
I couldn't ask for anything better.
I do work a lot. I spend a lot of time with cases and so we get in fights every now and again about it but we are over all doing ok i hope.
I have lots of friends too.

|| kokichi's POV ||

Class. Its just a long period where i answer easy as questions and drift into my not so pleasant thoughts.
Though today a different type of unpleasant though kept creeping into my brain. Why did the thought of shuichi and kaede sting so much?
Why can i feel this but nothing else. My world is always so grey and nothing changes that. Not even this feeling but why can i only feel this? And why do i feel some ray of hope when shuichi looks at me?

Its just interest.
Pure hope that someone will try bring color back into my drab life right?
Yeah thats it. I dont have hope. I dont feel anything anymore.
I'm ok with that. I dont need to because that way i wont ever be disappointed right?
If i feel nothing i wont feel heart broken right?
Right?
Right?

BRINGGGGG!

Oh.
The bell went that means its lunch time.
I walked toward the classroom door when i heard a person run to catch up with me. I turned around to see kaede with a smile on her face "hey ouma-kun?" He put a hand on my shoulder and i looked up meet her gaze. Again i dont feel up to acting today so i jut stared with a blank expression, she didn't question it and continued talking. See? They dont care so they don't notice "so um i was wondering if you have any money? I promise i will pay you back! I just forgot mine and i wont be able to buy lunch" she put her hands together and looked at me with an apologetic smile "why cant you ask shuichi?' I asked her toneless "well he didn't bring money...." "any other friends?' I just asked in return "nope! They all bring their own lunches" i looked at the bento box in my hand and sighed 'didnt plan on eating this anyway' i extended the bento and she looked at me in confusion "hm?" "Here eat it" i looked at her in the yes and she smiled brightly "really?" She asked reluctantly "yes just take it" i handed her the box and she bowed slightly "Thank you Ouma-kun! Your the best" she waved at me and ran out the classroom to where shuichi was waiting. 'Shuichi...'
I walked out the class and walked to my favourite tree.

I was sitting at the tree doing what i do usually. Draw and listen to music till i heard a BING that came from my phone
Shuichi? Since when do i- oh yeah we had a school project and we exchanged numbers... that was a year ago he hasn't ever texted me before

Shuichi:
Shuichi:
are you ok?

It was a simple message but it made want to cry... i didn't feel sad. At least not that i acknowledge it.

Me:
Um describe "ok"

Shuichi:
Ouma...

Me:
Are we being honest here couse if so no.

Why am i telling the truth?

Shuichi:
Ouma whats wrong?

Me:
Aren't you with kaede? Pay attention to her.

Shuichi:
Ouma  .. you didn't look good this morning. Or In the classroom.

Me:
Girlfriend shuichi. Goodbye

Shuichi:
Ouma wait!

Me:
goodbye saihara.

And with that i shut off my phone  and continued drawing exept this time there was some emotion.
Sadness.
A cascade of tears dripped down my cheeks, falling onto a blank page in my sketchbook.
I couldn't deal with school right now so i ran. I ran out the front gate.

Word count: 669 ;)