☆:**:.linger.:**:☆

numb

may 30th, 1987

aberdeen, washington

molly gasped as the needle broke her skin.

she pulled up, watching the blood register, mixing with the golden liquid.

this was her favorite part.

the calm before the storm.

knowing she would be numb to it all as soon as she pushed down.

they say you can't buy happiness.

"but," molly thought," that can't be true."

because she held all the joy in the world in her hand.

slowly, molly pressed the plunger down, the drug instantly rushing through her young veins.

she gasped, coughing a couple times, before pulling the needle out and falling back onto her bed.

a comforting warmth washed over molly, starting as a tingle in the back of her neck, like it always did.

there wasn't a word to describe the bliss heroin gave her.

"lou's got it right," molly thought to herself dreamily, "my wife and my life."

if she didn't have the velvet underground and nico tuned all the way up, perhaps the girl would've heard the sound of car doors slamming outside.

"star!" a familiar voice yelled, "where the fuck are you?"

"up here, darling," she called out, giggling to herself.

footsteps pounded up the stairs, molly's bedroom door swinging open.

"we heard what happened molly, when you didn't show up for your graduation i-" chris stopped, taking in the sight before him.

"jesus christ," andy whispered from behind him.

"come on in my loves," she laughed, rolling around in her bed, "you want some? it's good shit," she nodded at the box sitting on her bed, filled with all her paraphernalia; lighters, a burnt spoon, cotton balls, and little plastic bag half full of light brown powder, a belt laying beside her.

"molly," chris said quietly, taking a step towards the loaded girl, "what- what happened?"

"really, i don't know how she got it. it's almost pure," molly continued, as if she hadn't heard him.

"star," andy snapped, frowning at the younger girl.

she shut her mouth, dopey smile dropping.

"she meant to do it," molly whispered, staring down at the bed, "i know she knows- knew her way around a needle. there's no way she could've od'd off this stuff unless she meant to. she knew what she was doing."

her voice cracked at the end, the tears that she had kept hidden for the past two days finally falling.

"andy, go start the car," chris said over his shoulder, tossing the blonde his keys.

andy hesitated for a minute before running back down the steps and out the door.

"come here, star," chris whispered, sitting down and wrapping his big arms tightly around the weeping girl.

"why?" she sobbed, "why did she do this to me, chris?"

he shook his curly mane, having no answer.

"let's get you out of here, baby," he whispered into her hair.

"i- i can't."

at first, chris thought she just meant she didn't want to leave, but when he looked into her eyes he realized what she was really saying.