Sinner

41| Epilogue

Chapter 41: Epilogue (Venus's POV)

Seven years later...

I was sitting with him on the couch, cuddled up to him like I always am. 

Three years. We've been trying for a baby for three fucking years. And it just isn't happening. Getting married at twenty and starting to try for a baby at twenty-two. It's been a long fucking time. I'm twenty-five now goddamn it.

"Vee."

I looked up at him. "Yeah?" 

He took a deep, shaky breath. "I think we should stop." 

"Stop what?" I frowned in confusion. 

"We're waiting for the results for this time. But if they're negative then... I think we should stop trying for a baby." 

I sat up, blinking in confusion. "Why would you say that?" 

Up until three years ago. Up until we started trying, everything was so good between us. But when it just wasn't happening things started getting rocky. He really wanted a baby, I really wanted a baby, but it just wasn't happening for us. 

In the beginning, I felt like absolute shit. And I started thinking that if I can't give him what he wants and what he deserves then maybe he should find someone who can. Maybe I should leave. And maybe we should get a divorce. 

That was the worst spot we've ever had in our relationship in seven years. And the only bad one.Because I started hating myself and I thought it was my fault. That something was wrong with me. And he started losing hope a little bit. 

So I gathered some courage and went to take a test. And everything came back clear. I was well enough to have a baby and nothing was amiss in my body. But still, it just wasn't happening. 

He was fine, I was fine, but I wasn't pregnant. Luck just wasn't on our side. 

So I brought up divorce. And I thank god that Caden shut that idea down immediately. I just remember thinking that he wasn't happy in the relationship because I couldn't give him what he wanted and he would be better off without me. That was a bad, bad conversation...

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"How can you even think of a divorce, Venus? How the hell did you think I would agree to that?" he groaned, dragging his hand down his face. He has just come back from work and this was the worst possible timing for this discussion but it was now or never for me. 

I had the courage and I didn't know how long it would stay. "I just thought that-" 

He cut me off. "You just thought that I'd leave you?" 

"Caden we're both miserable! I hate myself and you hate the truth. Which won't change," I scoffed. "I'm not pregnant." 

"That doesn't mean you never will be, Venus! We are not getting a divorce, that's it!" 

"But Caden-" 

"Venus Jade Locke." He stared me straight in the eyes. 

And I broke from within. I blinked back my tears, sitting at the foot of the bed. 

He sighed and then kneeled in front of me. 

And then my tears started falling. "I'm really sorry," I cried. 

"It's not your fault, baby. It'll happen, I know it will. We just have to be a little patient." 

I looked at his eyes. "But you deserve what you want, Caden. I can't give it to you."