24 visits || SOOSHU

Visit Twelve

Reason: Check up

Symptoms: None

Time in: 9:45 am December 20th, 2014

Soojin paced around the break room, her lip between her teeth and a finger constantly twirling her hair. She shouldn't have gone to that concert. Like, she thought it might be a bad idea, but it was a bad idea. Because ever since she went to the concert, there had been strange feelings and strange thoughts, strange emotions.

Very strange, should not be happening, well, things were happening.

Like relief. Why did Soojin feel relief when she saw Minnie shove her tongue down to a woman - who Soojin kind of remembered seeing upon Shuhua's visit to the hospital -  Why did she care? And when her palms got all sweaty watching Shuhua perform in outfits that were way too tiny. And why was Shuhua so attractive because Soojin was sure that if that wasn't the case none of these stupid thoughts would be happening in the first place.

The worst part was, Soojin couldn't - in all honesty - say that it was just attraction she felt towards Shuhua. Stupid, stupid thoughts.

Soojin had looked up transference, but the term didn't seem to fit. She'd had hundreds of patients and not been interested in any of them. She'd treated several attractive people. So why Shuhua? The worst person to have a crush on, probably. Why the annoying super idol?

"Soojin?" she heard from the other side of the door along with a quick knock. "Shuhua has been waiting for ten minutes."

"Dammit ," Soojin muttered. Shuhua the impatient , annoying super idol.

She took a deep breath and strutted towards the office, grabbing the chart from Yuju on the way, then took in another breath before opening the door. Shuhua looked up at her, her brown eyes a little dull, smile a little forced.

Soojin lost her words for a moment. "Hi," she blurted out when Shuhua said nothing. Soojin closed the door behind her and took a step forward, trying not to look away from Shuhua. That would just make things obvious.

"You didn't come," Shuhua said

Soojin dropped the chart on the floor. The loud thud made both of them jump, but was enough for Soojin to get her thoughts into gear. "Yes I did!" she said.

Shuhua crossed both of her arms and looked away. "Then how come you didn't see me after, and how come Yuju didn't see you?"

Soojin recalled Yuju asking if she wanted to go with Yerin and her; but Soojin had declined because the whole third-wheel thing could be annoying sometimes. "I went alone. Yerin and Yuju were on a date, and I didn't want to intrude."

"And not seeing me? You were on a security list, you know?"

Soojin's face turned red. She was flustered because Shuhua had been dancing and singing and dressed in very revealing clothes. At one point something that covered no more than underwear and a bra would; maybe they were underwear and a bra. And she remembered panting fans, and remembered judging them and realizing she couldn't really judge.

Oh, and then she ran out of the concert as soon as it ended after too many uncomfortable jolts buzzing through her body.

Soojin cleared her throat. "I had to get home a little earlier than the concert ended. The next morning I had an early shift," Soojin said. Technically it wasn't a lie.

"Oh!" Shuhua said, perking up. She uncrossed her arms and folded her hands over her knees. "How'd you like it?!"

Soojin bent down to pick the chart up from the ground, and also to get a moment of reprieve from too much eye contact. "It was good. Uh, your dancing was good."

Shuhua grinned, her cheeks forming small dimples. "I think you met my choreographer, Miyeon. She was here when I passed out."

The image of her and Minnie stuck together played in Soojin's mind. She'd only spotted them because they were at the very front in special seating. "Yes. She and the other woman, with the pink-hair," Soojin said. She felt stupid for playing stupid, acting like she didn't know her name was Minnie and that she hadn't read a handful of tabloids on her. "They were at your show, right? In the front." Soojin cleared her throat and turned around to get the stethoscope.

" Ugh, yeah. I had to see them making out, like, every time I looked down. They're gross. My best friends, but still gross. Hopefully some reporter got a picture or something," Shuhua said with a casual sigh.

"Why?" Soojin asked, ignoring how the tips of her ears burned.

"If Soojin bothered to pick up a magazine she'd know that half the world thinks there is some scandalous affair between super idol Shushu and her agent." Shuhua faked a gasp of surprise, covering her mouth with both hands, then dropped them and rolled her eyes. "Even though she's been dating Miyeon for years now."

Soojin swallowed in, bringing the bell of the stethoscope to Shuhua's chest. "So you're not seeing her," Soojin asked. Stupid. Stupid thing to ask.

"No!" Shuhua's heart thumped a little louder, faster. "Though there was this thing during our freshman year of college..." Shuhua mused, placing a hand on her chin.

"Breathe," Soojin said, just as she sucked in a breath. A thing during college? If Shuhua had a thing during college did that mean she had a thing for girls and - no. Soojin was her doctor. Right. It wouldn't matter anyway. "So you did date?"

Shuhua gave an indignant snort. "Hmm...no. More of a fling. It was kind of ridiculous."

Soojin moved the bell to Shuhua's back, almost certain that her own heart might actually be beating a little faster. Especially being this close. Shuhua's hair smelt like pears, mixed in with the sweet scent of whatever perfume she was wearing. She should have just stopped asking questions, not speak at all anymore, but ended up blurting out, "Why ridiculous?"

"We've known each other since high school, and well, " she blushed, looking at her knees. "It was kind of like, why haven't we tried , and then, oh that's why. "

Shuhua wasn't straight.

"Oh," Soojin said, moving away. Her thoughts went blank, though. Shuhua, the worst person to have a feelings for, of course wouldn't make this easier on her. "Temperature," she then said, just to have something to say. But before she could turn around to ready the thermometer, Shuhua was grabbing her hand.

"Soojin," she said, eyes glimmering, "keep this between us, okay." And of course Soojin knew why she'd ask that. She was an idol. But there was something so personal about the way she said it, like trust. She trusted Soojin.

Soojin grabbed her hand back, held it for a moment. It felt nice to hold her hand, just the smallest show of physical contact. "Of course."

The rest of the appointment went by with a lulling silence. Nothing uncomfortable, nothing weird. The sounds of medical equipment, of wrappers, of a thermometer under Shuhua's tongue.

But when it was time to leave, Shuhua lingered. Her cheeks turned a light pink as she shifted between legs. "I guess I won't see you until after christmas."

Soojin's eyes widened. Oh, right. That was coming up in a few days. Had she even done her shopping, things had been so busy.

"Merry Christmas, Soojin," Shuhua said, smiling.

Soojin smiled. "Merry christmas."