Random Depressing Stories

Scars

(un-edited)

Everyday I struggle to please my parents because when I was younger, if I could not please my mom I would get beaten. I started getting depressed,  thinking that I am never going to be good enough. While in 7th grade another girl in the same situation was happening and one day she lead me to the back of the school. She rolled up her sleves. I stared shocked and asked,"Why?" She just said something like,"It helps to take my mind off the thoughts because I focous on the pain of the razor digging into my skin." She then took me to the bathroom.

She gave me a razor and told me everytime those thoughts come to mind, cut where people can not see like thighs, upper arms, stomach, etc. My young mind easily manipulated, listened to her. From then I did as told and cut myself almost daily. I didn't know it was wrong at the time. So I continued. 

When I was in 8th grade I started seeing mishapen animals. They were compleatly black. Eventually the animals got more human shaped and would be in my room every night. I could not tell my parents because they would think its just for attention. Just like when I came out as a lesbian. That's my moms favroite word. "Attention" I hate that word. I hate it so much. I talked to my friends about all of what's going on. 

Even tho they did not understand they would try to help. Eventually in 9th grade my mental hardships got worse. I started exploding with anger, being really sad for no reason,and even going into a state of mind where everything was an enemy making me extremely hostile. I would get in fights constantly with kids at school or my parents.

I would cut deep because when the voice came in he told me to because I deserve the pain for having so many emotions that caused me to hurt people. I eventually got caught with cuts on my body by teachers. They sent me to the office and I ended up in a mental hospital. It was fun because everyone understood me, not to mention every one was a queer. 

After about a week I got out of the hospital with 2 more mental condisions diagnosed. Depression and Bipolar Disorder. They never diagnosed me with anything consurning the Voice or my shadows.

-9th Grade was 5 years ago-

I am now at one with my shadows and I pay attention to my emotions and I listen to Voice. Even tho I am a diagnosed psychopath that has a reward on their head, I still listen to myself and I allow voice to take control once in a while. Mostly in bad situations. I am dating the most amazing person in the world. They make me so happy even tho I don't understand the emotion happiness. 

Me and them are on a job right now.

"So babe they said that this person would pass through this ally tonight?" They ask me. "Yes thats correct. You have everything we need in your backpack right?" I ask them while keeping eyes out for other people. "Yes I double checked." They state. I see a figure walking in the ally. "I think thats him." I say as I pull the rope that is attached to a harnis around my waist. 

I jum off the roof of that building and slide down once my feet hit the ground I unbuckle and Tae comes down after me. I put my mask on and my hood over my head walking his way with my head down. I pass him then quickly turn around grabing him from the back and injecting him with a strong sleep drug. "Tae come her, he is out." I say as I call them over. 

They come over and check his pulse, "Yep he's out." They say. "So where should we start?" I question letting a wide smile form on my face. "I don't know." Tae says as they take off their backpack and take out a variety of wepons/tools. Hammer, saw, gun, bat, plyers, drill, rope, and two knives. I take 4 thick screws out of my pocket. "Babe help me screw these in." I say to them.

They come over, "How do I help?" They question. "Get on my shoulders, I will lift you up and put 2 screws about 3 feet apparts, leave about an inch of screw sticking out of the wall." I say as I kneel down. They take off their shoes and stand on my shoulders and screw in the screws. I step back fast causing them to fall. I catch them in my arms. They cling to me. "Awww did you think I was gonna let my baby get hurt?"  I ask them cooing. They just turn their head and just hmph at me. 

"Babes I'm sowry" I say in a baby tone. The look up at me I set them down and they kiss me gently. I smile and pull back "Lets have some fun."  I say as I pick up the guy. Tae helps me tie his wrist up, then hanging him on the screws. I screw in screws neer his feet. I then tie his ankles and tie the extra rope to the screws. 

"Lets get started." Tae says excitedly. They grab the hammer and I grab a knife. "OH wait." I say as I get some rope and push his mouth open, gaging him with the rope. "Ok we good." I say smiling. I take the kinfe and start to cut down his arm. He jolts awake and screams and yells. Me and Tae look at each other. "Break his jaw." I say to Tae. "With plesure." They say as they take the bat and swing hard. 

The bat makes inmpact with his jaw and blood splatters over Tae. His jaw hangs by a thread and I take my knife cutting it compleatly off. I smile when I cut through a vein in his mouth and blood splatters over my face. Tae then takes the hammer to his knees and he tries to scream but can not and only gurgles come out. I take my knife and push it fully into his leg twisting. Again he tries to scream. 

"Tae wanna cut open his leg other leg so we can start writing on the wall?" I question. "Sure but can we break his face and rip his nails off or his teeth out? We did bring the plyers this time." They say stabing his leg cutting to the side. "Yea sure." I take the plyers and pull of 5 of his nails. I then give them to Tae and they do the same. I take a glove and put it on. The glove has metal spikes on the knuckles. I punch him in his face repeaditly and once he stops screaming and goes limp I stop. 

"Check his pulse." I tell Tae. They do and shake their head. "He's dead." They say. "Oh ok lets start writing." We both grab medium sized paint brushes. I start putting my signture and Tae does the same. Once we get done we start cleaning up. We climb back up onto the roof. Leaving him there hanging with the message ,"This man raped 2 women and killed 3 others. He deserved what he got. You're welcome." We stand on the roof. We wait for the payment to come through the phone. 

We get a text and the transaction of 500,000$ was sent. "That was fun." I say to Tae as I sit down."Yea that was, people like him make me sick." They say with true hate in their voice. I call a cab and we get in. After we pay with cash we go home. I get in the shower and wash the blood off my body. After I get out Tae gets in. We sit and eat dinner and go to the back room. We watch some movies and cuddle for hours. "I love you." I say as I hold them tighter. "I love you too." They say as they rest their head on my chest.

We go to bed. I am always up after them. I make breakfast and turn on the news. "Another grusom killing by 2 unknown people. They seem to only kill criminals but what if their morals change. Will you be able to keep safe?" The news lady says. I just laugh. "Why are people so fucking stupid." I say as I set a plate of food in front of Tae. "I will never understand that either." They say back. 

"Tae I know how I know I love you." I say while standing infront of them. "How?" They ask. "Whenever I am with you I feel like my soul is leaving my body in the most beautiful way. I feel like my stomach twist into a knot and my stomach gets upset but like in a good way. I also tend to think less and go off of my own thoughts not Voices comands. You are the only person I truly care about and thats the only emotion I do understand. If it's an emotion." I say as I look deep into their eyes. 

They look at me and say 4 words. "I feel the same." In that moment I couldn't help myself and I kissed them but it wasn't like any other kiss I have ever experianced. It was special and almost like magical. I was just perfect. During that time it felt as if I was compleatly fine and happy like all my scars and problems had melted away.