West [ COMPLETED ]

XVII

Around three o clock I woke up, wondering how I fell asleep in the middle of the day, since I am not a nap person at all, but then with a wrench of my thoughts I remembered.

It was time to face the music though. I had to lay out some new rules for myself.

First of all I visualized a hard shell around my heart.

Nothing was allowed to peirce that shell, not a sweet word, not a gentle gesture, not a winsome smile, not that deep laugh, nothing Weston said or did to me from now on was allowed inside that shell.

I would treat him, both outwardly and inwardly, as nothing more than my old neighbor who did a nice thing for me, no more false castles in the sky was I going to permit myself to build.

I sat up and dropped my hat onto the seat next to me, stretching. One thing I had always known about myself, was that I was a good actor. I didn't do it often, but If I wanted to, if I tried, I could act outwardly the complete opposite of how I felt inside, and I intended to try.

"Have have a good nap?" Weston asked, looking over at me and smiling. He still had that concerned look in his eyes.

"Mhmm, really good," I said, forcing a sweet looking smile to my lips.

"Good." He kept glancing from me to the road, and I knew he was going to try to say something again.

"That was my um, one of my old friends from Colorado, well my friends sister actually," he started.

I decided to just commit suicide with every ounce of my feelings then and there.

"Oh yeah? I'm pretty sure she has a thing for you," I grinned.

He laughed awkwardly. " Yeah we ah used to date."

" Cool...is she hot," I demanded, rousing my old self from her slumber.

Weston scoffed. "I don't know...she's pretty I guess. "

"What do you mean you don't know, you're a guy, can't you decide if someone is hot or not?" I insisted, grading every shred of my feelings to bits.

He was quiet for a minute, and just looked at me, like he was trying to figure me out. I grinned at him.

He frowned even further.

"Yeah I guess she's hot but that's not really how I judge what somebody's worth...someone can be hot but if I don't like their personality Im not going to go for them," he shrugged.

I deflated a little bit.

"That's...well said," I nodded. "She sounds nice though, I mean cleaning your whole cabin and stuff,"  I lied through my teeth. She sounded like a clingy, desperate bitch. But then again Weston hadn't exactly sounded annoyed with her, just embarrassed that she had called him in front of me, and that was only because he knew I liked him and didn't want to hurt my feelings. He was just a very nice guy, and the fact that he was trying to be kind to me in an older brother sort of way stung my pride. I would rather him straight up not care than try to soothe my hurt, because then it would make it easier for me to get over him.

But no. He had to keep giving me those sweet pitying eyes.

"Yeah she's nice," he said, without energy, and I could tell he was sorry for bringing it up. He wasn't planning on me reacting the the way I did. He had to know I was faking it, but what was I supposed to do, cry?

He at least got the message to stop trying to make me feel better.

He went silent after that, and I rolled down my window and stuck both my feet out, crossed my arms behind me and closed my eyes.