AS THE WORLD FALLS DOWN I RICK GRIMES

Storm Nor Soul

Storm Nor Soul

I saw their starved lips in the gloam
With horrid warning gaped wide
And I awoke and found me here
On the cold hill's side...

Deanna fast-forwarded through the interview she'd recorded of Earle denying Alexis's accusation he'd tried to force himself on her, before hitting the pause button, steepling her fingers as she studied his subdued demeanour, resting her chin on her hands. Not for the first time, she doubted her decision to send him away. For a moment, she allowed herself to be seduced by the memory of his handsome face and earnest air, remembering the conviction he'd carried in his voice, making people trust him despite themselves, Deanna included. And then she switched the laptop off, staring at the blank screen for a long moment, before getting up from her chair, the movement slow and measured.

She made her way over to an antique writing bureau, hesitating before pulling out a manila folder from one of its pigeon-holes. Inside it was various black and white photographs taken just after the completion of Alexandria's walls, several featuring Earle and Alexis together, his arm either slung casually across her shoulder, or Alexis mock punching him. Anyone could have been mistaken in thinking they were a couple, but in reality, the affection had all lain on Earle's side. Or he'd said in the interview, confessing he was in love with Alexis, that he'd only made a move on her thinking she felt the same way, insisting he'd backed off when Alexis had rejected him.

Deanna set the photos down, her gaze lingering on Alexis's face, trying to unravel her mystery. Whilst Jessie was textbook girl-next-door pretty, blonde and buxom, Alexis's beauty ran along more complex lines, appearing plain one moment, then luminously lovely the next. Her main advantages were her fall of naturally golden hair and almost violet eyes, but her lips were thin, her nose large, her chin jutting out slightly. Yet for all these faults, her features held a harmony that sang of beauty, even as her high cheekbones clashed with the sharp planes of her face, lending her an otherworldly look, almost unearthly to behold.

Alexis had always reminded Deanna of the poem La Belle Sans Merci, 'Full beautiful—a faery's child/Her hair was long, her foot was light/And her eyes were wild'... and the thought made Deanna frown because she wasn't prone to flights of fancy. Yet for all the time Deanna had known her, Alexis had always carried herself like a queen, holding herself apart from the rest of the world, even from those closest to her. But in the photographs, Alexis seemed like a whole other person, somebody who loved to laugh, who was open and easy-going, looking like there was still hope in the world. But that had been before Earle, before he'd betrayed her fragile faith in him, making her become what she was now, alternating between anger and ice, qualities Deanna hadn't dreamt Alexis could possess.

Deanna thought back to her last conversation with Alexis, trying not to dwell on the details, but rather Alexis's manner, the contradictory combination of defiance and submission it had held. Deanna flattered herself she could read people, but Alexis, even now, remained a closed book to her. She could never get a handle on Alexis; the moment she thought had, Alexis would do a complete 360, forcing Deanna to start all over again. She suspected that there was a constant storm brewing under Alexis's still surface, one that could tear down the walls of Alexandria if so inclined.

She took one last look at Alexis's face, thinking of the girl she had been, comparing her to the woman she was now, realising that the storm had been brewing in Alexis from the very beginning, only awaiting its chance to strike. If it hadn't been Earle, it would have been someone or something else. Now it was Pete who was the focus of Alexis's wrath, and while she might have reason for it, she lacked the logic to see the position it put Deanna in. She had to think of Alexandria, not just Jessie, involving her in an impossible dilemma that couldn't be resolved.

Deanna sighed heavily before putting the pictures away. For a moment, her heart ached for the old Alexis, the one that smiled without a second thought, who had danced her way down the sidewalks of Alexandria with an utter lack of self-consciousness, her blonde hair billowing behind her, framing her face like a golden veil. She had embodied all that Deanna had hoped for Alexandria, but that Alexis had never existed. She had only been a front to fool what was left of the world, deceiving Deanna with it. That Alexis had been all shadow and no substance, only all storm.

If she exiled Pete, what would they do for a doctor? But Alexis only thought of her family, not even Aaron or Eric. She would battle for those of her blood but nobody else. At this thought, Deanna felt a twinge of guilt, knowing she wasn't being fair on Alexis. But she dismissed her doubt. Alexis wasn't being fair on her, backing her into a corner, forcing her to defend her indefensible position. Alexis didn't carry the burdens she bore, having the lives of so many depending on her one. They looked to her for leadership, and so she led, having no other desire but to do so.

She made her way over to the window, her gaze finding the walls that kept them safe. Beyond them lay the wreckage of civilization, but she would build a better world on its bones, forging a future from its flesh. But to survive, they needed more than a dream. They needed knowledge. Those who lived within the walls needed to learn from those who lived outside them. That was how Alexandria would survive. It would be her legacy, a testament to the strength of the human spirit. Deanna turned away from Alexandria, her heart hardening against Alexis. Nothing would stand in her way to keep these walls standing, not storm nor soul.

And this is why I sojourn here
Alone and palely loitering
Though the sedge is withered from the lake
And no birds sing