Eleven.

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"Y/n.." he whispered almost inaudibly as his eyes met hers.


The voices from inside the house died down, and footsteps thudded towards where they were. 


Looking over his shoulder, her eyes caught with the other boys who looked shocked to see her here.


"Y/n?" her name being called caught her attention. And she turned back to meet his eyes. There was the unmistakable emotion his doe eyes held: Desperation. He looked at her with a longing hope, that almost made her cry. 


"Jungkook," she said firmly, letting all her emotions out. The pain. The betrayal. The anger. And the love. She had for him. Her voice was firm, powerful yet emotive. Her eyes glazed as she tried hard not to break down.


He stayed on spot. Fear. Engulfed him. That almost made him suffocate. He didn't know what to do. So he waited for her to continue. He opened his mouth, but she beat him to it.


"I'm sorry for running away. But I had to make up my mind." she started and stared right at his brown orbs.


"I'm not gonna beat around the bush," she stated. A shiver ran through his spine and the boys gulped hard.


"I thought for a while. For a long time actually. I'm not good at expressing my feelings Jungkook, I hope you remember..." He gulped hard. " I love you. Still, I do. I don't know when I will stop. What will make me stop." she weakly whispered, causing him to tear up.


"There are a hundred reasons for me to forgive you. Firstly for you being dragged to this mess without will. For me,  I still love you. And I know you do. As much as I am happy..." she closed her eyes, not wanting to meet his hopeful ones.


"I can't. We can't," she sighed opening her eyes. His tears fell, lips trembling. As he watched his first love giving up. On him. On them.


"Maybe it was just a forced bet to you. Maybe you have countless explanations. But.." she deeply breathed in. "No one deserves to go through what I did. Feelings are supposed to be treasured. I don't know when you fell for me, but in reality, even though it was a few months. You were willing to play with mine. I don't hate you. Instead, I love you. I don't know how much time it will take for me to move on. But I will. You were my first in everything. And you will always hold a place in my heart. But you broke me. For good. And I don't trust you anymore."


Jungkook's chest ached painfully as he watched her speak.


"What you did wasn't right. Playing with a girl's- a person's feeling even for a minute isn't fine. Leading them on in something that isn't true isn't right. I wanted to forgive you. I wanted it bad. To come back to you..." she whispered.


"What you gave me was surreal. It was something I experienced a little in life. It made me feel alive. Made me feel things, I thought that only existed in fairy tales. But I lost myself. I was so in love with you I didn't realize..." She looked up at him. A hint of anger in her voice.


"Maybe you love me now. But you didn't love me back then. Maybe you wanted because you didn't want to be alone. It might have been the fact that I was good for your ego. Cause I was a hard one, wasn't I?" she scoffed lightly. "Or was it because I made you feel better about your misery? Was it because I was naive? I didn't know what it was...But you never loved me."


Jungkook shuddered at her venom-filled voice. He didn't want to believe her. Yet it was right. I was stupid. He was too immature. He knew it now. But it was too late. 


"Because Jungkook, you don't destroy the people you love."


Jungkook watched her, with desperation. But her mind was made up. "You were my beautiful dream. But I realized. I was better when I was without you." she stated. 


Jungkook sobbed lightly falling to his knees. She wanted to stop. He wanted her to stop. But the truth coming out, felt good. So good, that she didn't want to stop. 


"Maybe you love me now. But it's too late. There were times I thought I lost you, but I realized you weren't ever there. I wanted you to hold me like the most precious thing in the world. I wished you wanted me as much I do and it's my fault. What we had was true to me, I don't know what it was to you. I want to give you a chance. But I know things won't ever be the same. We could try, but sometimes you should let go of things that aren't meant to be. Like us. I'm not sorry for what's happening to us. I know you love me and I do too. But, I'm letting go..."


She kneeled down in front of him and caressed his cheeks, wiping the wet tears away.


"We could be together forever. But I am not strong enough to fight anymore. I don't want to hold you back. There's so much out there for you. I'm sorry, I'm weak. I'm letting you go. It's for the best Jungkook." she whispered, knowing that a few words won't console his broken heart. But this was the truth.


His eyes watered as she pressed her lips on his forehead once. Maybe she will regret it now, but he wasn't her only escape. She had dreams. He had too. They were passionate. And for them to go forward they had to let go. 


Because he let her break. Yet she loved him.


But now she was willing to stand up back again. 


Because, her happiness was her responsibility.


And for once in her life. She was going to let someone else down for her to get up. She was going to leave the people that didn't care for her. Stop being so kind and naive.


Standing up she got up and walked away, giving them one last glance.


She felt freer now. Maybe there will be times when she will regret it. But for now, she was going to follow her guts. She was letting her mind take over, so she could find herself back again.


Jungkook watched her retreating figure, the consoles from his hyungs deafening. What she said was mostly true. Maybe they weren't meant to be. He regrets this so bad. But he made his mind. That was going to learn from this mistake, so that in the later future. He wouldn't have to fall back to this same place.

He made her be his beautiful mistake, that he learned to be better from.




Be strong enough to let go, and be smart to wait for what you deserve.



The End.

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