JeongChan- Part 1

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Jeongin groaned once again as he stared at his bed.

"What the hell am I supposed to wear?", he muttered, scanning the blazer once again, his bed filled with clothes he had thrown off the closet and wandering once again if it was too much or too little. "I hate life."

He sat on the floor, whining loudly knowing one of the members would listen to his cries, and eventually come and help him.

All of Straykids knew about their youngest's plans for Christmas Day, every single one of them had spent the whole week teasing about the date he had managed to get with that one girl he knew since highschool.

Since they were idols, it took him a lot of time to be able to ask her out, due to the dating ban, and since he was a mess around her, even after the dating ban lifted, he was still not capable of doing it for too long.

They had met with their friend group the week before Christmas to trade their Secret Santa's gifts, and he had finally gained the courage to ask his crush out.

Terrible idea.

"What if I just cancel?"

The door opened slightly, Chan's head perking in with a small smile.

"Everything okay?"

Jeongin whined again, getting up and running to his direction.

Chan chuckled and took the younger boy in his arms, feeling him bury his head on the crock of his neck and closing the door behind him.

"I don't want to go."

Chan sighed, hugging him close.

"What's wrong? I thought this was a good thing.", Chan nuzzled his nose on the slightly curled, black hair, smiling at the familiar scent.

"It is, but I'm nervous, and I don't know what to wear."

Jeongin pouted, pulling away to stare at the leader.

Chan bit his lip, begging his heart to stop beating so fast.

Whenever he was next to the younger, he felt like his lungs were empty, like a rug was ripped from his feet, but at the same time, there was too much air, he felt his head heavy, his lips curl without him controlling them.

He let his half closed eyes wander along all the perfect imperfections of Jeongin's face. His almond eyes, his dimple, his sharp nose and the slightly cut eyebrow. His milky skin shone against the morning light in his bedroom, Christmas songs playing in the dorm as Felix and Hyunjin cooked lunch making him feel like a total dream.

Chan sighed, leaning in to place a soft kiss on Jeongin's forehead.

"Show me what you've got, I'll help you chose."

He could never have the younger.

And he needed to live with that.

Jeongin smiled cutely, grabbing Chan's hand and making him sit on a spot that had no clothes.

"I really wanted to wear this, because it's like, a Christmas lunch? I think? But I'm not sure if it's too much.", he pouted, and Chan took the blazer in his hands. He looked in front, only then realizing the younger already had a shirt loosely on, white to go under that.

He smiled.

"Come here."

Jeongin felt the blazer put around his shoulders, wiggling around to find the wholes for his arms, and dressing it with Chan's help.

He lifted his arms a bit as he felt the older's ones on his waist, softly pulling the blazer down and moving around his body until he was basically hugging him from behind, concentrated on doing his buttons.

Jeongin saw his face through the mirror, and let a small smile creep onto his lips.

He was doing the right thing.

He needed that date, he had to focus on someone that was not Chan.

Because everything to him was about Chan.

Chan reminded him of the wind that softly caressed his face when he went out, of the sun that warmed him inside without much strength. He reminded him of music, of nature, of happiness.

Chan reminded him of love.

Jeongin loved the older's presence, he loved his determination, his cuddles, his voice, his ideas.

He loved the way Chan would be there for him, the way he didn't hide behind a mask as they spoke.

He loved the way the older looked, he loved every single part of him. His dimples, his curly hair, his swollen face in the morning, his laugh.

Lord, he loved his laugh.

He loved his smile, and he knew, better than anyone, that the one the leader had on right then, was fake.

"Channie Hyung?"

Their eyes met through the mirror, and the leader let his hands fall around the younger without moving, still slightly hugging him.

"Yes?"

Jeongin frowned.

"Why are you sad?"

Chan cleared his throat, letting go of the younger and moving back to sit on the bed again.

Jeongin turned around, walking up to Chan, standing in front of him while he was sitting down.

If Chan were to lean forward, his head would land right on Jeongin's chest, and feel his beating heart.

"I'm not."

"Don't lie to me, I'm not 6, I know you're not okay."

"Jeongin-"

"No.", he crossed his arms. "You've been like this all week, what's wrong?"

Chan pulled his arms away from his body, clicking his tongue.

"You're ruining the blazer."

He moved the piece of clothing, grabbing it's collar to softly put it back in place, and the heat of his hands made Jeongin gulp.

"Chan..."

The older's head shot up at the lack of honorifics, heart running at the younger's soft eyes.

"I-Innie?"

He let his hands fall next to his chest, eyebrows furrowing as he realized the hammering under his palm.

He pressed his hand to Jeongin's heart, never ripping his eyes away from the younger's.

It was beating as fast as his own.

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