Pacita's secret 2

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Pacita's Secret 2

Paula's P.O.V

I like Sir Amadeus.
Since I was young, my parents doted on me.
Though I am not my mother's real child, She treated me like one. And I always love her the most too.

I met Sir Amadeus at a tea party when we were very young.
I thought my heart was stolen by him.

But I was scared of him too.

My heart is conflicted.
I want to get close but I'm scared.

Thanks to my friend Michaela, I was finally able to talk to him at school. But he doesn't like to talk about weather, toys or fashion.
He likes reading books so we talk about books.
But the books he likes are different from the books I read.

He doesn't like fairy tales.

So I started reading Ancient texts.

"My lady, this is too advance for you!" My nanny was worried about me.
But I want to be able to talk to Sir Amadeus like Michaela's twin brother Gustav.

I have to study hard.
Study. Study.
My parents and elder brothers coax me to stop trying hard.

"That, It's not the Durble's family who first rise in rebellion. Actually, if we go back in time, it's the Rune family who instigated the coup that led to the dispute and the Durble's family just got mixed up with it in the later years."

Amadeus wordlessly nodded at me. I will continue to talk about my opinion. Is it worthy?
It was for me.
While studying I realize the more I learn, the more things become clear to me.
If I am wise and I can be someone respected due to.my efforts then it's all worthy.
But to be able to get Sir Amadeus to look at me and nod his head to me, it's priceless.

When Sir Amadeus needed to leave to see his new mother. I am not worried.
Sir Amadeus is not like us. He can definitely….
When he returns there are times I am also confused.
If he heard people criticizing his mother he would give them a glare or directly reprimand them depending on what they are talking about and that necklace! That necklace is not worthy of Sir Amadeus' neck---is what I was thinking.

I failed to see the warmth in his eyes.
The smug little smile in his lips as he proudly flaunts his gaudy necklace.
I wanted to see just what kind of woman made Sir Amadeus like this.
And I met her.

She is not what I am expecting.

Her way of talking and how she carries herself is not like a noble. I'm a bit unaccustomed to this kind.
She also made remarks that are not appropriate. Though surprisingly, the Duke allows her to be so lawless. If my mother made that kind of thing, I think even with their feelings for each other, father will raise his hand to mother.
That kind of behavior will never be allowed.

But is it allowed in the Duke's mansion?
I have mixed feelings toward the Duchess.

She is lovable and kind and she is nice.
But she is not….really someone I can look up to.
I feel disappointed with her.
And then I saw two pairs of golden eyes looking at me.

Did I really look disappointed at the Duchess?
Did I get so much pride as a noble to give her such a glance?

--I sweat as I realize that it is not us who is watching the Duchess..It was Amadeus and The Duke who are watching us in front of the Duchess.

I was scared.

The Prince Clover also gives the Duchess a caring glance.
It's like they are blind to her unladylike misconduct.

"What do you think about the Duchess?" I ask Arben.

"She is very nice." He smiles.

I think it's because the Duchess is very beautiful that everyone forgives her.

"Beauty is really everything." I sigh.

"Ah. Right, she is beautiful too." Arben smiles again.
"But more than that,she is what can I call it...Real?"

"Real?" I chuckle.

"Yes. She seems genuine. Her eyes reflect her emotions. Though I admit she is not the duchess I was thinking in my head. But I'm glad she is not. I mean  that kind of duchess…..would not be favored by Amadeus and The Duke right?"

"How so? Women should always be elegant."

Arben looks at me a bit confused. I am sorry. I am being too emotional.

"Well, maybe she is at home, that is why she is unrestrained? We are in their house so It's natural for her not to get too strict right? Anyways, I'd rather get sincerity than deception. I think the duchess is fine."

I pout.
He is right.
But...As a person that was educated not to think that way..I am conflicted.
She is very nice to us after all.
She did a lot of things to make us comfortable.
"Yeah. She is nice." Whatever about teaching? It's not like someone like me has the right to educate a duchess.
Forget it.
Somehow, I feel like smiling.

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