Chapter 113: The Way I Want You

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The room fell silent.

Sam held his wide-eyed stare on me for what felt like an eternity until he eventually turned to Jake. I felt him tense up, his grip on me getting tighter. Finally, Sam looked away, pushing through everyone, quickly making his way out of the room. My heart was pounding.

What was I supposed to do with that? 

Before I could even think, Jake turned to me, staring back with sad eyes.
"Please.. don't go." He said softly. My heart sunk. I knew there was no way I could go after Sam, not without ruining everything. I bit down on my lip, staring back up at him.
"Come here." I said, taking his hand and pulling him out through the sliding doors. I lead him out to the bus where I pulled him up the steps, shutting the door behind us. He made his way over to the couch, plopping down, running his hands through his hair.

"Did you know?" He asked, keeping his eyes locked the ceiling. I felt my cheeks burn. I had a feeling but I never knew for sure, and I definitely didn't think he felt.. like that.
"No." I said softly, as I began to pace up and down the main area. "But.. there's something I need to tell you." My heart was pounding as I looked down at my feet, avoiding his eyes. I could see him sitting up now.
"What?" He asked. I sighed, finally bringing myself to stop, going over and sitting down across from him. He stared back at me with his tired eyes, doing his best to keep them open.

"That day.. when Sam and I got into the accident.." I said. He leaned in, moving closer to me.
"W-what happened?" He said, his voice dropping.
"I.. I kissed him." I said softly, biting down on my lip, feeling my cheeks burn. He held his stare on me, staying quiet. I could see his mind was racing.
"W-why?" He finally said. I sighed, shrugging, looking down.

"Because.. for a minute, I really thought he was dead, Jake. And.. I just couldn't imagine that. I couldn't imagine you.. your whole family.. " I said quietly. "So.. when he finally woke up, I just.. I don't know what came over me, I was.. overwhelmed and relieved. I just.. I was so happy he was okay, but it wasn't-"
"Okay." He said, cutting me off. "W-was that the only time?" My heart started beating faster.
"Well.."
"Well?" He said, his eye getting wider. I sighed, shaking my head.
"He kissed me too."
"Like.. he kissed you back?" I bit down on my lip, shaking my head.
"No, he.. kissed me again. He said that.. in case anything happened to him, or me, he just.. he wanted to.. enjoy it." I could feel my cheeks burning. Now that I was saying it out loud.. 

I saw Jake's face get angrier, his jaw clenching.
"Well, how do you feel about him?" He said, peeking up at me.
"I care about him, Jake. I.. can't say that I don't. Him and I have gotten.. close. Especially after you and I broke up. He's.. my best friend out here. And he was there for me when I was heartbroken over you, and.. I'll always care about him. But.. I love you." He sighed, his face dropping as he held his stare on me. I could see his eyelids getting heavier.

"I can't do this again, Jess." He said softly, looking down.
"And I don't want to." I sighed, moving in closer, holding his face in my hands. He stared back into my eyes and I felt my heart start to beat faster.
"Jess, did you mean it when you said that.. you couldn't wait for forever with me?" He asked. I couldn't help but smile, gently running my thumb down his cheek.
"Of course I did." I said, pulling him onto a kiss. "You know, actually I.. um.. I kinda thought.. you might.. well, maybe you were planning on.. proposing tonight." He instantly perked up, his eyes getting wide.

"O-oh.." He said, a smile escaping from his lips. "Did you.. did you want me to?" I bit down on my lip, feeling my cheeks burn.
"I.. I think that.. I did." I said quietly. He held his stare on me, now reaching up, running his fingers through my hair, his hands making their way down behind my neck where he pulled me back in.

"I wanted to." He said softly, reaching over, gently taking my other hand in his. "But.. that day with your dad.. he.. he kinda.. talked me out of it. He said that.. you didn't want to get married and.. I don't know. I was afraid that.. I was gonna scare you off again. You.. you had never really brought it up before and.. I know you accepted that ring but.. promise rings are.. different.. I.. I'm sorry." I shook my head, giggling to myself.

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