The Reluctant Mate

27 Porter

"How did you know about Steven?" Amanda asked, instantly defensive, glaring at me, her body tense like she was ready to bolt from the coffee shop. As soon as the words were out of my mouth I realized I had probably overstepped, but it was still better than pretending I hadn't heard his name that night—as long as she didn't actually go running.

"I don't know about him, not really. I only knew that you were hurt by someone. You mentioned him the night you got so drunk on... I put it together."

"Oh." She did not look pacified by that information.

"But my point stands. I don't know if he's the one who made you so wary, but I'm not him. I know you're afraid of me, but—"

"I'm not afraid of you."

I didn't want to argue the point. I hoped she really meant it and didn't see me as a monster. The truth was I did have a human side, but I was far from a human.

Her voice dipped. "It's not you that I'm afraid of. It's myself." I didn't like the self-recrimination I could hear in her tone. "I got pulled in and couldn't get out, Porter. I was so stupid. And so weak."

"You're not stupid or weak."

"You can say that all you like, but that doesn't make it true. I loved him, I became dependent on him, and he exploited that weakness. And other weaknesses, too. All to keep me in line. And the worst part? I don't even know why I let it go on as long as I did. I should have put an end to it once I realized what was happening, but I stayed with him for months after that." Her voice sounded like it was about to break as she was caught up in memories. She didn't deserve any of this. I wanted to beat the bastard to within an inch of his life, and that was nothing on what my wolf wanted to do to him.

"Amanda," I said, wanting to break her out of wherever she had gone, "Don't blame yourself. Whatever he did is on him, not on you."

"Yeah, it is his fault." She perked up, as if reminding herself of that truth.

I shouldn't have offered again, but I said it anyway, quietly, so none of the humans around us could hear. "Just say the word and I'll make him wish he'd never hurt you."

She frowned and watched me warily. "That's not the point. He's not allowed to be near me, he's far away and doesn't know where I am. He's not the problem anymore. It's me I can't trust."

I nodded. That piece of shit really wasn't the issue, not at the moment. And words alone weren't going to convince her. "Just give me time to prove that you can trust yourself with me."

Her eyes met mine. "That's what I said I was going to do."

"Then let me take you somewhere. Like a date." She looked me over warily. As much as I wanted to carry her back to the pack this minute, I was definitely in a trial period where one misstep would ruin everything. "Something low-key."

"Like?"

"A movie? Friday night?"

"I have to work Friday." She paused. "I guess I could go afterwards." It was a concession and that meant she really was trying. It was so much more than I had dared hope when she had said she wanted to meet me here. I'd assumed the worst.

"So it's a yes then?" I needed to be sure.

"Yes."

My wolf was ridiculously excited and I couldn't keep my smile hidden. She smiled back and my tail probably would have started wagging in wolf form. "I'll pick you up at your place?" I tried to keep my voice level so she couldn't tell how eager I was.

"Okay. I guess you know where that is."

"I do. What do you want to see?"

"Just decide when we get there?"

"That works for me." I'd watch anything if she was with me. And if we had to wait a bit that just meant more time with her.

"But I have to work tomorrow, so I should get going," she said, showing me her empty cup.

My own was still almost entirely full, I'd forgotten it was there. I drained half of it and asked, hoping she wouldn't think the question was too overbearing, "Can I give you a ride home?" She smelled like she had walked here and I hated the idea of her walking back alone now that it was getting dark.

"Sure," she said. Her slightly less tense tone gave me hope that someday she would get to the point where she could just be with me, just relaxed. I wanted that so much. I wanted that as much as I craved another taste of her passion.

I finished up my coffee quickly and I let her precede me out the door. Apparently she recognized the truck, or maybe she just recognized the advertising for our construction company on the side. I was just happy she was willingly walking in the direction I wanted her to go this time, and for once without her drugging herself with alcohol. Not being pushed away, not holding her captive on Jason's orders, just her walking beside me like I'd wanted since the first moment I'd met her.

She got in and I did as well, her eyes meeting mine as her seatbelt clicked. There was silence between us as I pulled out of the parking spot, and I struggled to think of something to fill it. "So, did you have any trouble when you got back home?"

"Not really. Everyone at work was very sympathetic about my poor grandma. Now if she ever visits I'll need to keep her away from my work just in case someone recognizes her and asks her about it." She looked annoyed by that thought.

I grimaced. "Sorry about that."

"You should be. If my lies get found out and I lose my job, I'm going to be pissed off. At least if I had been kidnapped by normal humans I wouldn't have to lie about it. I'd call the police and let them handle it and I wouldn't sound crazy. She shot me another dirty look and then sighed. "It'll probably be fine though. My friends thought it was pretty strange of me to leave so suddenly, but I guess I was convincing enough that you won't be found out now. Daria never even noticed her binoculars were missing."

I shrugged. "It doesn't matter as much now. Our pack is secure. The hunters or the Alpha Assembly will take care of any leaks."

"Take care of? Your world seems brutal. Am I in danger now that I know?"

"No, not kill, modify memories. And you're not in danger for knowing, it's common to tell human mates. I would have told you when the time was right."

"And for the others who aren't mates, let me guess, they have some weird device to look at that some guy in a suit will flash when someone finds out about something top secret and..."

My mate and her overactive imagination. "We're not in a movie. It would be a witch who would do it," I explained as I stopped at a red light. I looked over at her.

"A witch? Because that seems so much more in line with reality." She rolled her eyes.

"So she says to a werewolf."

She rubbed her forehead and leaned back in the seat. "You know what, I don't even want to know right now. Let's talk about something normal. Anyways, yeah, work's been fine, or at least as fine as it ever is. How about yours?"

"We finished at the job site, we've got another coming up in a month. Everyone gets a bit of down time between and we're focusing on projects on the territory right now. The plan is to get the people who want to be in the pack house in there within the next month, although it'll take some time before things are completely finished." The light changed and we continued through the intersection.

I was going to say more, but I pulled up to her home. She undid her belt and glanced at me, her eyes still holding a wariness that made me uneasy in turn. She was still so skittish.

She inhaled slowly. "I'll see you Friday. Bye," and jumped out of the truck before I could even think of anything to say besides a startled goodbye.

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Author's Note:

Well, it took about half the book, but...

Thanks for reading!