The Reluctant Mate

42 Amanda Mature

Once we got back onto Glenshadow territory, I breathed a sigh of relief. That sense of safety that I had so tentatively built over such a long time crumbled over a few stupid flowers.

As much as I hoped that some former one night stand hadn't decided he had feelings for me, that would still be so much better than Steven re-emerging in my life. I was finally starting to feel happy and secure. It would be just like him to come and destroy that. I hoped it had nothing to do with him.

It was probably nothing.

Porter was living in the pack house now, which wasn't as much like weird communal living as it sounded, because his quarters were kind of like a small apartment. Besides his space, there were other unoccupied small single rooms and other apartments I'd seen as Porter showed me around, clearly proud of what they had built. Carrie showed me hers and Jason's. It was simply decorated and a bit bigger than the others, but it was still largely functional which didn't surprise me since she tended to be focused on practicality first.

Once we got into his rooms, I set Uno up, googling kitten care since I didn't know much about what I was doing. I always wanted a pet when I was growing up, but my mother had been adamantly against it, and in retrospect under our uncertain circumstances it was good that she hadn't let me get one. A defenceless cat hadn't deserved such instability.

I focused on the little fur ball who was batting around a cat toy and pushed the unpleasant memories from my mind. There was a reason I didn't talk to my mother anymore, and it was more complicated than just that I didn't like her current boyfriend. The reason I didn't call my father was less complicated, and it was because as far as I knew he was a piece of shit without any redeeming qualities.

The few happy memories I had of him didn't matter, because even if he was a good person, he had abandoned me with her and the partner du jour.

I shook my head. Why was I even thinking about them when they just made me miserable? Maybe talking with my counsellor was ruining my hard won repressive avoidance skills. She just loved when I made jokes like that.

"You okay?" Porter asked, returning from fetching the supplies I had requested.

"Yeah. Just got a bit paranoid. And other stuff."

"Ah." He crouched down beside me.

"I'm tired."

"We can go to bed."

"Of all the bullshit."

"Yeah."

"Uno might be the most thoughtful thing anyone has ever given me," I commented, a lump in my throat. Why were my eyes burning?

"I picked this one because it reminded me of you."

"Because it's got orange fur?"

"No. Because it's got attitude like you."

"That might have been a bad plan. You'll be outnumbered."

"It was inevitable anyway once you command your cat army."

I snorted. "I think this apartment is too small to fit them all in here at once."

"True. Might need a bigger place."

"Do you really want me to move in with you?"

"Is that a real question?"

"I guess not." Like every step we took I felt paralyzed. I petted the kitten. It was an adorable distraction. "I do want to live with you."

He studied my face. "Because you're scared?"

"No. Like I said I've been thinking about it for a while."