Seven

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Hiring someone is the only rational option. My mother's voice is screaming in my head that showing up to a wedding with anyone but my husband is highly inappropriate, but desperate times call for desperate measures. And these are definitely desperate times.

But it's becoming increasingly obvious as I call agencies and check rates that there is no one in my price range. The two guys I've found so far who are available, inexpensive, and don't provide... additional services... are waiting in the lobby of the hotel for me to interview them.

The wide pillar near the front desk gives me a vantage point to check them out without them being able to see me.

The one nearest the door bounces his knee aggressively and checks the clock every fifteen seconds on the dot. His black hair falls into his face in a way that is at least a little bit attractive.

"I don't like this," Divya says from behind me, making me jump out of my skin and almost give away my position to the enemy.

"I don't like that you feel the need to bring a stranger to my wedding. Honestly, will you please just let me uninvite Tyrone?" She and I are now safely huddled behind the pillar, completely ignoring what are sure to be dirty looks from employees and guests alike.

"I will do no such thing. I'm an adult and I can handle myself."

"And by 'handle myself' you mean what, exactly?"

"I mean I'll find someone to come with me and I'll be perfectly amicable to my ex-lover and his new supremely amazing fiancée. Cross my heart."

"No scenes? I can't have a scene. Can I interview these guys with you?"

"Would you?" That actually sounds like a good idea. The whole point of this is to make a buffer between me and Tyrone so I can make Divya's wedding less embarrassing. Her help makes sense. Plus, I'm terrified. "I'd like that."

"Oh, thank goodness. I'm seriously getting nervous that the blond one might pass out over there. See how he's adjusting his tie all the time?" She points across the lobby to the man sweating all over the ornate wooden chair he's perched upon, still as a statue.

"Oh, no. I think anyone in my budget is going to look 'budget'."

"They do look a little nervous, but maybe once they meet you that'll change. I'm sure one of them will work out."

"One of them will have to."

Divya opens her mouth to say something and then snaps it closed again without a sound. She's obviously not about to repeat Carla's suggestion, and I'm grateful for that because it's right out of the question. Hot Bond man, Enrique, is legally my husband but I'm not about to string him along. I don't know him. I'm not doing it.

"Deep breaths," Divya reminds me, patting my left shoulder with her hand. "You got this."

"Let's go," I say, pulling my shoulders back and marching across the lobby toward the still-as-a-statue blond.

Sensing my arrival, he stands from his perch and extends a hand.

It is even sweatier than I thought it would be. "It's a pleasure." I try to force a smile as he hands me his resume.

"As you can see I have a great deal of experience off Broadway and now I'm here in Vegas. I am a certified minister in case anything goes wrong at the elopement and you need someone to step in. I'm also CPR trained and I can sing. Dancing is sufficient for a wedding unless it's Greek. I don't do Greek weddings."

"You do a lot of weddings?" Divya asks, sitting on the edge of a nearby sofa and dragging me down with her.

"No, I don't get a lot of weddings, but I've been booked to sing at a few and I step in for Julio when he needs help as the minister."

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