Thin Line- Charlie Dalton Love Story

Chapter 28: Closure

{Charlie's POV}

It was made unofficially clear that no topic regarding Valerie Chase should be brought up during the meetings of the Dead Poets Society. While that is easily dealt with, something else out of my control is the stares of people from Valerie and to me, and then to each other with their thin pathetic smiles. Mr.Keating was doing well to be subtle about our last conversation. I was still finding it hard to forgive her, no matter her attempts. Two weeks had gone by and everyday she tried to talk to me and explain herself and everyday I ignored her. However I have to admit when the third week came and she didn't try anymore I was a bit disappointed.

Although the topic had become unmentionable there were still crude insinuations from Knox to try and make things right again. Knox being in a relationship for nearly two years has messed with his head. He thinks he knows everything about love, which is not true. Love is subjective. Ew gross why am I talking like that.

"...love is less always than to win

less never than alive

less bigger than the least begin

less littler than forgive

it is most sane and sunly

and more it cannot die

than all the sky which only

is higher than the sky"

- E. E. Cummings

Everyone clapped and cheered. Todd had just read a poem in the cave, which was unusual as he is often the observer. I wasn't really listening to the words of the poem nowadays. I smoked most of the time and just clapped when everyone clapped. My mind was too preoccupied to participate in any clubs.

"I read this poem for you, Charlie." Todd said, still standing with the book in his hands.

"Well, I'm sorry Todd. I'm very flattered and I think you're cute but you're just not my type." I replied.

"Would you be serious for a moment." He said, irritated, despite laughing along with everyone else.

"What's serious about a poem written by a man whose last name is Cummings." I said after I took a puff of my cancer stick.

While everyone was laughing whole-heartedly they all shared a concerned look about their faces. I had never noticed. But I just added that to the pile of things I should worry about at night.

"We're worried about you." Neil said.

"Yeah, I mean you haven't been yourself for weeks now." Meeks added.

"That's true. You don't even make fun of me anymore." Cameron said.

I blew smoke in the hollowed out cave and said, "Shut up, Cameron."

"Nevermind then." He replied.

"Do you guys think that I'm finding this experience all jolly good fun. I mean I found out the hard way, gentlemen, that love sucks. It isn't real. I give up. From now on it's just me and my poster of Jane Russell." I announced to the boys.

I really had given up on it all. The same way Valerie had. The only thing left between us now was brief meaningless glances we gave each other.

"You need to get some closure, man. Just talk to her. Give her a chance to talk to you." Knox said, sounding all Dr.Love on me.

"Right, because it hasn't been clear enough. I want to hear her explain exactly how she never loved me." I scoffed.

"Just forget about her, man. She's not worth it. She never was." Cameron said.