Random life stories from yours truly

Let Me Tell You About My First Friendship After Moving...

None of these names are the names of actual people. They are made up to protect their identities or some shit.

So I moved to my current home back in 2014 for 1st grade, and living on a block consisting mostly of either old people, or college students, kids my age weren't within 6 year old me's walking distance, except for three homes...

The first two I've barely spoken to at all due to our grade gap, but the third belonged to a family a three, who we'll call "The Notsoneighborly's." There was the mom, Corah, who was constantly shifting in and out of (kinda toxic) relationships. The older brother, Corn, who was two grades ahead of me and OBSESSED with working out. And then the daughter, Rose, who was kinda going for the girly girl teenager look. Always with the super fashion and makeup! The only time I ever actually put effort into makeup was for Halloween! We were kinda polar opposites.

Now, there are TONS of stories I could milk out of my three years of being friends with this family, but most of them are kinda just small enough to tell in the comments. Two sentence stories. So I'm taking the four most HD memories of the Notsoneighborly's and typing them out for you all to enjoy. :)

Disclaimer: Due to D.A.V.E. I can't do these in chronological order.

1: Sleepover War

As you can guess, this was my first slumber party. Especially with the older kids. Both Rose and Corn had their friends over, and I was obviously one of them.

So when it was about- I'd like to say midnight, we all collectively decided to go to a girls vs boys war. We used pillows as Shields, and- well... more pillows for weapons. Then, with they boys standing outside of Corn's bedroom, and us girls just outside of the hallway, we waited... Until the call for war AROSE!

WE ALL CHARGED AT EACH OTHER! OUR BATTLE CRIES WERE HEARD FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STREET! AND- It ended after we all hit like- one person. We just kinda weren't feeling it. So instead we doodled on the first kid that fell asleep.

2: You Want A Whaaa..?

It's rainy out- Corn is inside, most likely lifting weights. Meanwhile Rose and I are screwing around in the front yard and in that narrow grassy pathway between her house and the neighbors driveway.

We're messing around in the rain when all of a sudden, Rose asks me to do something that 7 year old me would not be comfortable with.

She asked me if I'd like to practice kissing with her.

Of course, be being the little sentimental dork I am, I declined. Then she brought up French kissing, being a pure second grader (before the dreaded Ms. Bitch) I asked what that was. So she explained simply enough- and I quote- "You kiss with your mouth open and touch tongues."

Now, mind you, She's within casual shoulder patting distance in front of me, so I feel a bit awkward. Especially since I already took her as a platonic friend.

Still being a sentimental dork, I decline.

And that's where that memory ends.
No seriously-
It ends there.

3: The First Time I Bit A Man

This story is a bit more famous amongst my friends because it was the first and second time I had a fight flight or freeze moment.

Bit of background on Corn, he enjoys rough housing and showing off his strength. Weather that's by running around shirtless for some reason, or going nuts on the weights. Regardless, we could all see him being the "high school jock" in the future.

One sunny- most likely spring- afternoon, all of us elementary school kids on the block were hanging out and playing games. Corah was at my house hanging out with my mom at the time, all the way at the other end of the block. So no adult supervision.

Well, things started getting a little heated when Corn started picking on me. A lot of this is a blur, I hardly remember what happened, but one thing led to another, and next thing I know, Corn has me in a head lock with my face tight enough against his chest that I was starting to have trouble breathing.

I remember squirming, and things going a bit black, and everything, including my thoughts, going quiet, until all of a sudden Corn throws me backwards onto the sidewalk!

"OW! SHE BIT ME!" He yelled. I was so confused!

Did- DID I actually bite him!? What's going on!?

Pretty quickly I saw that pissed look in his eye, and then came my second response. I ran.

I ran like he was about to bash my brains into the street if he caught me! I was so scared that all I could think about was going home and hiding in the safe space under my bed. I swung open the front door, rushed past my mom and Corah, and into my room. A split second after that I heard Corn run in telling them how I bit him!

My mom has me to come out and asks if what he's saying is true. I responded saying that I didn't know, but it happened when Corn had me in a head lock. Mom and Corah had us do a less threatening version of the head lock, so we acted out what happened.

Lets just say that Corn got an ear full from both of our moms...

4: What Kind Of Logic Is That!?

I do remember this happening the same year I stopped hanging out with them, so I'm a 9 year old in 3rd grade. Rose is in 4th, and Corn is in 5th.

The three of us are just vibing in their living room watching TV, when Rose gets up to do- I dunno- something. While this happens Corn takes this chance to tell me something.

He straight up says that he like-likes me and asks for me to not tell his sister because she'll make fun of him.

I was so confused.

Corn is the buff guy in the house. Rose and I don't really make fun of him. Also, if you're so hell bent on how embarrassing your crush is, WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU CONFESS!? Finally, you put me in a head lock, make fun of me, and be an all around jackass, and expect me to like you back..? I don't know how it is where you're from buddy, but that ain't how I do things.

And that memory ends there too. Nothing that big happened after that...

Well, I hope you enjoyed those slightly traumatic memories from a friendship that felt kinda toxic...

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A while after I stopped being friends with the Notsoneighborly's, a better, non-toxic family of old friends moved in. Including my pal rocrat6090, who made an account on here most likely to tease me for my older work.