A Thousand Times Enough

⋆ Chapter 24 ⋆

XXIV. • °

"Today family and friends, we are joined here because of a devastating loss we have endured. A loss that has touched every one of our hearts, and souls. A sweet and humbling soul who was taken away from us all too soon. "

"Someone who gave back to their community and cared for everyone in it, and someone who would've stopped at nothing to help in any way they could. We are joined here today to ask for comfort for the family and to send warm condolences to help them grieve over this...heartwrenching loss."

He paused taking a deep breath in and wiping the corner of his eye. "I can't express how much I feel, how much my heart aches, as Sandra was a dear friend of mine, she was one of my greatest friends...a friend that anyone would love to have. What you did Sandra, was the friend that I knew and have known for all these years. You were brave and never let fear get in the way of doing what's right."

I picked my heavy eyes off the ground and refused to look over at the casket that was in front of me. I looked over to my dad who had cried every last tear you could think of, but now when I looked at him there was no tear to be found. He didn't seem to mentally be here, he looked as if he was anywhere but here.

I looked around and saw a few of my family members, only a few that I could count on my fingers came to support us. Came to say goodbye to my dear mother. My mother hardly ever talked to her family, they never approved of my dad, my grams being the main one. My mom said that my grams claimed he was never good for my mom. So the family was quite upset when she got pregnant with me.

She only told me so much, but I knew how much that broke her not being able to have family or talk to them, and whenever they did reach out it was for money.

She went years without speaking to my grams, and when they finally rekindled on her death bed she passed away. This happened before I was born, but when she was pregnant with me. I was only left with pictures and pieces of a story that she barely explained or mentioned.

My eyes landed on my Aunt Mick, she was completely devastated. Her only sister is gone. They weren't as close either.

A lot of old built-up animosity that neither of them could let go, my mom told me how Aunt Mick never let her forget that she waited until my grams was taking her last breath to speak to her. My mom hated it, she hated to be reminded, and so she stopped speaking to my Aunt Mick too.

My mom never explained what really happened between her and my grams, and...I never got the chance to ask my Aunt Mick. When my dad found out that she was coming all the way down here from California he didn't seem surprised.

I thought it was a good thing and that maybe she might want to help us or let us come stay with her for a while but he immediately said no.

He said no one wanted to help but instead wanted what they could get out of my mom's death, money. He made it clear that we didn't have a family. We only had each other.

"Sandra, my dear friend we will miss you dearly. I hope that Milton and his daughter will find peace and warmth in their hearts to know that you will be in a better place guarding them every step of the way with love nonetheless." He paused taking a deep breath in. "And with that, you rest in peace, my dear friend."

As he finished up his last words, I heard when the casket began to lower. I fought the urge to look but I knew. My heart wouldn't let me be unfazed, and I could see slightly that she was becoming more and more out of view from the corner of my eye.

A tear trailed down my right cheek and right then it was like a ton of bricks came crashing into me. I felt everything, all the nights I had silently cried up until this point, all the times I refused to look at the pictures on the wall in the living room that my dad was ready to throw away. I convinced myself I knew what was happening and that everything would feel better if I tried to accept that she was never coming back but no.