Toast of the Season

❖ Chapter 26 ❖

❖
My mind is busy with my thoughts as I slowly pick up the scattered arrows, pulling very few from the targets. Regina just can't compete with Lizzy when it comes to archery. Well, perhaps I don't even need to add the 'archery' part of that thought. I have spent these last days with Regina because I promised to keep her busy and away from Lizzy, but right now she is grating on my nerves worse than ever before. A more self-centered woman I have yet to meet.

Don't get me wrong, Regina is beautiful, fashionable, and a bit exotic with her red hair and her French background. But last night when I had Lizzy on my lap in my study I forgot Regina even existed. In contrast, Lizzy is rarely far from my mind no matter who I am with. It is so hard for me to understand my feelings toward her because they are so new to me. I have had conversations with many young ladies in many ballrooms and parlors over the years, but I have tolerated them at best. I have never searched a girl out as soon as I enter a room like I do with Lizzy. She is pretty to be sure, with the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen. But it is something more that draws me to her, I feel more complete when I am with her. I don't know what to do with these feelings. I strangely find myself annoyed when she laughs with other men, almost like I want Lizzy to be amused by me only.

I so desperately hope I haven't ruined my friendship with her. I knew I should never have pushed her for a kiss last night but my need of her overcame my rational thought. The image of her on my lap with her fingers entwined on my neck and my arms around her enters my mind. My heart races a bit at the memory. I thought for a moment she wanted the kiss as much as I did, but she did not. It was physical pain that I felt at being denied that kiss, at having her leave my lap and my office so quickly only added to my anguish. 

She would barely look at me this morning, but perhaps she will forgive me for my forwardness when she gets her wish tomorrow. I had to do something for her so I wrote to Mr. Wimple last night inviting him for a few days to Beaumont and I had the note sent to London first thing this morning. Perhaps when Lizzy sees I have invited him she will look at me again.

At least Regina is being nicer to Lizzy this week. I have seen her attempt to include Lizzy several times. Her meanness at the opera was, hopefully, a one time occurrence.

A shout gets my attention and I see Regina scolding a boy at the end of the field, it looks like one of the stable boys. I cannot even fathom what could be causing this interaction. I jog toward them with my hand full of arrows. I hear Regina yelling, "I have told you that he is occupied at the moment! You can talk with him later!"

I see now it is Tanner, he spots me and takes off to meet me. This worries me, something must have happened. Tanner is out of breath when he reaches me but he pulls me to continue jogging as he explains, "The pretty Miss's horse bolted! She don't know how to ride! The mean man hit Cinnamon with his crop."

It takes me a second or two to process what he is saying, "Lizzy?! Was it Lizzy's horse?" 

Tanner nods, "Yes! Wesley is saddling Phoenix, I knew you'd want to help the nice Miss." I break out in a cold sweat. People die all the time from horse riding accidents and Lizzy has no idea how to ride. If her horse bolted, this is not good. What if... No. I won't even consider it. I feel sick. She has to be fine, I won't contemplate any other possibility.

I drop the arrows and take off running, I run right past Regina, ignoring her protests entirely. I'm impressed that Tanner can keep up with me. We enter the stable yard and Phoenix is there. I jump onto his back and grab Tanner by the arm, throwing him up onto the saddle behind me. He points over my shoulder the direction they ran and we race off.

I ride to the top of a small hill that overlooks much of our land and Tanner and I spot Lizzy on Cinnamon running toward the stream. Mr. Goddard is riding after her. I take off down the hill in their direction. Phoenix is a fast horse, he loves to run at breakneck speed. I rarely give him his head, but today I think he senses my urgency because he has never moved faster. Luckily Tanner is hanging on to me tightly or he would fly right off the backend of this horse.