√chapter thirty nine

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Shaiq's POV

Zainab's honey-brown eyes held so many questions. The affirmation reflected through her facial expressions ascertained that she needed answers to all of them. She inclined her body towards me and gazed at me curiously.

"Shaiq, I want to know what happened in your life when I wasn't in your life," she declared.

Hell! You were always in my life, Zainab. You didn't even know but you always were. I was only able to breathe by looking at your face and listening to your voice.

I took a keen glimpse of her glowing and beautiful face before looking at the dark sky, dusked with small twinkling stars later on.

"Do you remember Zainab our university offered me a scholarship because of my good CGPA to pursue my bachelors in the States when we were in our second last semester?" I looked back at her for assertion.

She thought for a while before nodding. "But you always said you don't want to go away from your family."

"And you as well," I reminded her. "I also didn't want to leave you, Zainab." A faint smile appeared on my lips. Zainab blinked several times but failed miserably to absorb the stream of tears in her eyes. Her mouth slightly parted and her affirmative expressions loosened up. It wouldn't be wrong to say I saw a glimpse of an upcoming emotional breakdown on her face.

It was like she had gone back to the past and was watching all of that with her eyes again. Suddenly my heart twitched in pain. That was why exactly I was reluctant to disclose anything to her in this state. She was weak and too vulnerable. It was still not even a month passed before she saw and dealt with an entirely different me. The person from whom she got emotionally tortured. And I couldn't even make up at least one percent for her to emotionally prepare herself for my justifications. But she needed answers right now and I would not keep her unaware anymore. I took a deep breath to formulate words in my mind.

"Anyway," I shrugged my shoulders while continuing. "I always declined it. I- seriously- even you know this; I had no plan to go abroad. It was never in my plan. Especially since you came into my life as my wife. I didn't want to leave you here alone. When you told me that you didn't want to live with me, only this solution came into my mind; to make you worried about my absence as I will be abroad. " I stopped to take a breath and glanced over at Zainab but my lips zipped up finding the look on her face.

Tears were bubbling in her eyes which were ready to fall anytime and her lips were quivering. Her beautiful lips! She was practically shaking. Her face suddenly turned pale. She abruptly stood up and it wouldn't be an exaggeration that I felt if it weren't for the wall behind her, she would have fallen since her legs were brutally shaking.

"I am sorry... All of this happened due to me...I am sorry...I shouldn't have done this...I should have trusted you..." She was whispering those words while her eyes were fixed on an unknown nook behind me.

My eyes widened in confusion looking at her state. I got up too and reached her. "Zainab!" I called her out but she wasn't listening to me. She was constantly mumbling I am sorry.

I grabbed her both arms and shook them. "Zainab, what's a wrong sweetheart?" She finally met my gaze. The overflowing tears eventually made their way through her eyes and dropped on her cheeks. Her breaths were coming in labor.

I cupped her face between my palms. "What happened?" I again asked in a soft, loving tone.

A sob left her mouth before she started crying with hiccups. "I am sorry, Shaiq. I am sorry...I am really sorry...please forgive me, please forgive me..." she said these words in a clutter.

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