Chapter Thirty Five

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Another vehicle driving past me slowly drags me back to reality and I can't help but to feel a bit embarrassed with myself.

Embarrassed and tired. If I thought I was low on energy before, now is a completely different story.

I turn the car back on with a sniffle, wiping snot from my nose. The precious outburst was a bit messy and dad doesn't keep tissues in his car.

Before continuing my journey to Joe's, I check my phone to see missed calls from Drea, along with a text;

"Hey, you don't have to pick me up today, Penelope wants to take me to dinner and talk."
-Drea

Typing a quick 'ok,' I decide I'll pry further into that later. As much as I want to be supportive, I can't even bring myself to care for my own situation let alone hers.

My motivation to live has never been as low as now.

I clench my jaw thinking about bother my loss of mom and Ethan, then shoo the mention of it from my brain in fear of another outburst.

It was worse than any I've had before, more soul crushing than any other experience.

I drop my phone into the passenger seat and put the car into drive. Home I go.

Bluetooth won't seem to work, so it seems I'm limited to live radio, which I'm not opposed to but still not happy with.

By the time I reach the halfway mark home, I turn it off anyway. Silence seems easier to listen to than Ariana Grande right about now.

I manage to not think too much of the bad on the way home, opting for thoughts of what I'll have for dinner. Perhaps dad will have an answer to that.

I couldn't be more relieved to pull into his long driveway, ready to collapse into my plush bed and wait out the rest of the day. I feel bad for not filling up his tank, but I don't think he'll mind too much. Or at least I hope he won't mind.

Either way, I collect my belongings and in the least graceful way possible, step out the car on shaky legs for the third time today.

Of course just then my phone rings with David's name on the screen. I sigh and silence it. I'll converse with him later. Drea probably got around to telling him to call me.

I open the front door and my phone begins buzzing again, this time with Drea's name.

With another sigh of annoyance and exhaustion, I answer it.

"You whore, you answer Drea but not me."

David's voice is loud in my ear and I wince at the sudden noise.

"I'm sorry, it's just been a long day." Is the only explanation I give.

"Yea, I heard. Drea told me what happened. We all need to have group time soon. I miss my bitches."

My annoyance fades with his words and I suddenly feel a bit guilty.

We do need time together. Time to rant and yell and maybe get a little fucked up.

"Agreed." I say, making sure I didn't forget to close the door behind me as I walk through the entry hall. Catching sight of dad, he's in the exact same spot I left him. "Hey, I'm going to call you back later, I just got home and I need to get some shit together."

At my words, dad lifts his head and turns to watch me approach the kitchen table and wrap the strap of my bag around the chair.

"Okay, I'll hold you to it. I love you bunches. Don't be a stranger."

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