Lost trust

Part:-36 Mirror Mirror on the wall, who's the culprit out of all?

What in the world was right with Mahi's life?
Nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
Particularly, everyone had a messy life, and he was not the one to whine about it. But his wasn't just messy, it was the worst.
So bad that he had the urge to jump out of the hotel window, giving himself up to nothingness.

If someone asked, that what was possibly going wrong and what has he done to catalyze it or rather stop it?

The only answer that his foolish brain shouted was

"Absolutely everything and nothing!"

How was he protecting his kids?
God knows that his plan was in deep risk and whatever he had constituted was going in drain.

How was his own mental health?
Superb, in midst of a shallow ocean and he was a brink away, from giving up his own life.

How is he doing, professionally?
Oh, just as good as the trolls gets.

How was he handling his personal life?
Just how a 16-year old teenager handles. Blocking everyone out of his life, so that he could wallow in his own darkness.
Gothic idiot, that what he was!

And, what was he doing right now?
Sleeping with his ex-wife! More or less, pleasuring her and her wishes.

Mahi let out a huge sigh, as a tear trickled down the corner of his eyes; bouts of guilt, regret, rage caged inside his chest, unable to find a outlet of expression. His mind wavered off in annoyance, as he felt like an incompetent looser, who can't even hold onto his pants before jumping into something so rakish.
The dusky weather outside and the warm sunrays had woken him up and the first thing he realized was the absurdity of the situation.
He laid there, on her bed, while she wrapped her small, slender hand over his torso as if holding onto him; maybe for life. He wanted to push her away, get down the bed and rush out of her room such that he could hide himself again in the cold shower, peeling off her scent from his skin.
But he couldn't!
He hated her, and she hated him.
That's what they believed in.
Then what's wrong with their hormones acting up like teenagers?

How he had wanted it to stop, and how she had pestered him to continue this marital-extramarital affair, so that she could get some peace and obviously some sleep, not even once considering about his sanity. The more he thought about what kind of relation they were in, the more he felt ashamed and disgusted. He had made clauses after clauses that how wrong it felt and how they shouldn't do it, but she would ardently rub off her desires on him, conveniently maintaining those hard faces through out the day, and then pounce on him with her not so innocent intentions at night. Only if she knew, that he didn't had the control she had. Even her one glance could make him go week on the knees and here she was his probable boss. He was--
Wait!
What is wrong with him? Was he really pinning on all the blame on her? So what if she is the one who triggers the situation. He was the one; who was too weak willed to come out of her touches; of her kisses!
He gave himself in her desires, in his dark desires! And from there, there was no coming back, for they were already drowned in the sea of lust and love, fighting hard to satiate each other.
How it started was a story of regret for another time, but he always landed up with her, barely clothed, under her covers.
That's what has been going on for twenty days! Since she came back in his life again. That is the amount of power she held in his worthless life.
And funnily, she fucking had a vague idea about his existence. And even if she did, she hated it, from her core!

Her soft, pulpy and rosy face dug into his masculine body, her grip over him tightening again. He wanted a smile to adorn his face, but the brain had his own will. He scrunched his eyes, in pain, in regret! This was not suppose to happen. But here they are, in the same position, as they have been in these 20 days. She snuggled closer into him, smiling adorably, his cologne hitting her nostrils, as if his manly musk gave her immense pleasure and assurance.
Pleasure, that she was close to someone who is hers.
Assurance of that she was safe!