What's home, if not the first place you run away from? What's love, if not that unexplainable, blazing feeling which comes after a period of hate?
Reputable for her catchy appearance, her over-niceness, her obsession with cartoon animations and her...
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Marshmello ft. Jonas Brothers - Leave Before You Love Me.
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IT'S ALWAYS A CASE OF 'I SHOULDN'Tbutfuck it' with him.
I shouldn't have let him touch me, but I did. I shouldn't have stayed back with him after finding out the truth, but I did. I shouldn't have let him fuck me, but I did. I shouldn't have turned off my 'no sex' mental schedule, but...well, you know how that went.
I shouldn't have told him how I feel about him, I shouldn't have kissed him back...fuck, I shouldn't have gone out on a date with him at all; I should have said no, but of course, like the idiot that I am, I threw caution to the wind and flipped off my apprehensiveness.
I knew that nothing good for me would come out of a date with Davian, yes, but of all the worst case scenarios I cooked up in my head as we slept beside each other last night...of all the things that I thought could go wrong, coming to terms with my feelings and confessing them to him were not part of them.
Kissing him was not even existent as a best case scenario, talk less of a worst case one.
But fuck...if I wasn't sure of my feelings throughout the night; once his lips grazed mine, I became one million percent sure of them. I don't hate him. I can't hate Davian.
I shouldn't not hate him, but Christ, fuck it. Fuck it all to hell and back.
Just like himself, I think I stopped hating him a long time ago but I was overcome by rage, and a bit of selfishness; I still am, but I crave him so much more than I want to be angry.
He said that I poisoned him, but he's guilty of that too. He said that he's in love with me. I don't know about love; I don't know if he's actually in love with me and I don't think I love him, but I know that I don't hate him. I like Davian. And if care isn't taken on my part, I won't only become attached like Ingrid Reid, I'm going to fall pathetically in love with him.
I mean, what's there not to like about him; he's nice, he makes me laugh, he treats me like a fucking princess - even moreso than Mr. John - he's fun to be around, yes he is...and boy, he's a damn good kisser. He's the only one who's kissed me like he needed the oxygen in my system to survive...he's the only man who's actually kissed me. I wasn't lying when I said that to him.
I also can't believe he was the man I bumped into at that stupid bar that night in Neon Nights. That memory has always been an unpleasant one ever since it occurred, but now, I kind of like it. I like the fact that Amara pulled me to that club that night, I like the fact that I bailed on that one-night-stand guy, and I like the fact that our paths collided.
